worry

[Jolie40]

since being a parent, tend to worry which I know does no good
child is accident prone & visits school nurse several times per year

child is doing online school now & I love it

5 months 'til school in fall & already dreading it     (keep it to myself)
does any one else worry?
how to decrease worry even though I know stuff will happen at school/nurse will call?

[Boat Babe]

Maybe your child has dyspraxia,  which would explain being accident prone. It is often concurrent with dyslexia. Or is it that your child is getting into fights or is being bullied?

I was always falling out of trees, off bicycles and generally accumulating scar tissue as a child. I personally think it's healthy for kids to do risky things (within reason). Is your anxiety about your child proportional to his clumsiness? Is it spilling out onto him? Can you get support with this so you don't feel so awful and give him the age appropriate opportunities to test his physicality, learn strength and balance, build his confidence etc etc.

[Jolie40]

few accidents caused by others & one needed trip to Dr

others were child just being active & sometimes also needing trip to Dr & one required surgery

this next school is bigger with stairs & somehow I'm worrying child will be pushed down stairs
I "know" this is irrational but with all the accidents that have happened, in some ways I'm also being realistic

[Lauren17]

Hello fellow worrier!
I think the absolute worse advice ever given to a worrier is "stop worrying." Oh, the number of times I've been told that. Personally, I find that trying to force a stop to worrying just makes things worse.
Here's the technique I've been using.
I spend a few minutes listing out what's the absolute worst thing that can happen. Then I list out what I will do in that situation.
Next I think if the absolute best thing that can happen and my responses.
Then I try to focus on the most likely scenario in the same fashion.
Here's an example:
I'm worried about giving a presentation at work.
The absolute worst that can happen is I fall on stage, break a leg, pass out, and they carry me off on a stretcher. So what would my reaction be? I'd be so embarrassed! I'd have to take time off of work. I'd get Mary to fill in for me while I was gone. I'd fly my mom in to take care of my kids.
The absolute best that can happen is I give the best presentation ever. I get big, fat bonus. I celebrate by buying a fancy new pair of shoes. I never worry about public speaking again.
In the middle, and the most likely is: I give the presentation, stumble over a couple words, but it's ok. Everyone says "Good job, Lauren" and I go about my day.
This is silly, but somehow it helps.
My DD was very clumsy too. In her case, it was a side effect of allergy meds.  We've been to the ER more than once. I well know that mother fear you have. She's (mostly) grown out of now, though. So there's hope!

[SparkStillLit]

Maybe I really am too PollyAnna. I just found a silver lining in your worst case scenario. You break your leg, the FIRE DEPT shows up! THEN you pass out, etc.
That aside, somebody on here posted a youtube breathing exercise video. I get anxious. Just....anxious. The breathing is the BOMB. Thank you, whoever!!! It stops the little ratrace of anxiety in my head.

[Jolie40]

Thanks Lauren for your "worst case scenario"  idea

NC since last summer & the decreased stress enabled me to sleep better since then!


however.....
child's back to school in-person in fall (online this past yr)
fall school 3 mos away & already worrying way too much:
covid,  school bullies, busy class schedule compared to this yr, & OP info, etc

how can I stop this worry re child?
my sleep is being affected since last wk

got too used to child being home & loved it
wish child would do online again but child says "NO"

[JustKeepTrying]

I worry.  I wondered if my worrying thoughts were an outcome of living with OCPDxh.  The anxiety is - so naturally the worry thoughts I was having would be a natural extension.

As for handing the thoughts, in addition to the above, try meditation.  When meditating, try for an initially 30 sec then 60 sec not chasing the thought.  Allow it to come and go and try hard to see it as just a thought.  Like all the thoughts we have.  You don't chase them all.  Perhaps this well.

Also journaling - write daily and write out everything - leave it on the page and close the computer or notebook - dump it all - I used to imagine that all those worries were people and I would push them into a large pit and then fill it up and jump on top of it.  Dark I know but it helped.  When the kids were little, I told them to leave their worries in their shoes at night.  Little mental tricks.

On another note, I am clumsy.  Several broken bones.  I could walk into a wall and have.  Lots of school bullies made my life hell.  My kids were the same and their lives were tough.  If you are truly worried, consider shifting to a home school/online course permanently.  Arrange for social activities through scouts or YMCA club sports, etc.  Traditional schooling is not for everyone.  We don't need to be putting our square pegs into round holes.  Unless, you as a parent, think it's for the best.  You got this!

[Jolie40]

consider shifting to a home school/online course permanently. 

would love to do that ^ and our school district does have that option again for fall
however, as stated in my last post, it's a firm "NO" from child
not being around classmates daily was too tough for extroverted child!

guess I'll live on eggshells hoping child doesn't get hurt or bullied

[Poison Ivy]

I am a worrier. One thing that sometimes helps me feel less anxious is to remind myself that most of the things I worry about are things over which I have very little, if any, control, so worrying doesn't have any positive effects.

[Jolie40]

remind myself that most of the things I worry about are things over which I have very little, if any, control, so worrying doesn't have any positive effects.

for me, worrying "sometimes" makes me come up with solutions and/or ideas to try

i.e. child was physically being hurt by a classmate one yr, so child & I came up with idea to get bully to stop
thankfully, it worked

also, bought a book for child on how to deal with bullies

before Covid hit, plan was to get child into a self-defense class
^ this is still a goal

but agree Poisin Ivy, the majority of my worry is things that I have no control over!

[Poison Ivy]

You're right, Jolie40. Sometimes worrying does reveal to me that there are things I can do in a situation. Being able to do something usually helps reduce my anxiety.