I felt moved to post this here.
Part of working on myself has involved trying to be a better friend to myself, even a parent and sibling to myself. Inspired a bit by IFS (Internal Family Systems therapy) and getting to know parts of me that get scared, alone, feel unloved.
But I had a dream last night that I ran into a woman, and she was sitting on my bed, and looking at me. I realized it was me. It was very detailed, right down to the things I usually wear.
Then I realized I was looking almost in a mirror. Some of the self-judgement, picking myself apart started to come in, judging how I looked and how it could be better, how I could look better, thinking some of the things I wear are silly because they don't look as good on me as I think, etc. etc.
Then part of me in the dream said "No, no, no, look at this woman as if she is not you. Someone separate from you, but still you...how do you see her?"
Finally something snapped. And I saw this woman, actually myself, as an entirely different person from me but still knowing it to be me, but without the self-judgment. And I really LIKED what I saw.
And I wanted to hug her, so I did. She looked very strong but I could tell she needed one, she needed comfort. And it's like I felt love coming from her to me, and me back to her, but we were one.
The same person, only I was looking at myself without the judgment from my PD family and other people from my past that had been brainwashed into me.
I like me. And I liked comforting me.
I just remembered the dream just and started crying. I know other members have posted things like this here, thought I would share because this feels like a big subconscious step, I hope it helps someone in some way.
Yes Distance I often find dreams interesting, occasionally powerful.
When I was a lot younger, I once saw a Jungian therapist about an issue I was having with a boyfriend. I was desperate, but very broke, so could only afford to see her about half a dozen times. During those 6 weeks I had this very clear dream that I described to her, and interpreted all by myself, just in a natural way. Looking back, I am amazed I did this, as I was a very lost young woman. I had never even hear of Jung or knew about therapy but someone recommended this therapist to me. In this case, amazingly, it resolved that specific issue once and for all.
But generally speaking I believe dreaming is part of our deep subconscious, and is an important part our healing, even if we are not aware of it.
Distance, that sounds like such a beautiful dream and it moved me to read what you wrote - that circle of love from you to you, you to her - so wonderful. Keep up the good work!! :yourock:
Indeed. I think dreams can be all kinds. More general, everyday random dreamings, instructive, understanding. puzzling, and sometimes I believe profound and healing. The healing dream that gave you such a warm supportive message DistanceNotDefence is surely a gift.
Distance, I am envious. I want that dream!
This is absolutely beautiful.
Thank you for sharing. There is so much value in what you have seen. You've brought an entirely new concept to me.
That's a great dream.
We are all flawsome and totally worthy of love.
Thanks to each one of you, for responding.
It felt like a split second of true self love. The feeling is gone now but I do have hope it will return, it feels like progress :)
And yes dreams have always been a profound tool in my life. A glimpse into what your subconscious is working on!