Hello? Hellooooo? It's been 30 seconds... Hello????

[ICantThinkOfAName]

OMG  I'm so sick of this expectation that I respond back to his texts in almost real time.  If I could hook up a machine to my brain so that it would text faster, it still probably would be fast enough!!!!  Grrrrr.... I know ignoring it will only make it much much worse. 

So we are texting about mundane things and he asked me a question, I literally walked over to get a glass of water when he texted and before I had a chance to respond I get the Hello? text.  I almost just plain ignored it and was going to let him stew for about 30 minutes when I decided that it would only make things worse.  Instead I tried to joke, but he did not think it was funny.  I'm sure he's in a bad mood about something and I'm not sure I want to hang around to help him disperse his anger. 

Just venting and wondering if anyone else gets as irritated about those kind of texts as I do. 

[Whiteheron]

I totally get it. Mine would do the "You there?" if I wasn't responsive enough (he does this with DS now). It would instantly trigger me. I was expected to be on call 24/7 to respond to his texts. Immediately. It's one of the things he complained about in joint T. The T and I were both trying to explain why an immediate response wasn't always possible didn't matter.

Towards the end of our marriage, stbx came to me with three reasons why he considered us only roommates. Top of his list? Because I didn't respond to his texts right away, sometimes I didn't respond at all. Oh, and if I did respond, it wasn't with enough enthusiasm. I mentioned this to my T and she said it was all about control.

[1footouttadefog]

Yes control.  Theu want to occupy your brain space and be the center of attention even when you are not with them.

Flip the script....and you get the projection message.  They are busy with someone else or other people or an acrivity and you are not getting their attention accept when they are engaging with you just enough to be sure you are thinking about and jumping how high for them.

[livingthedream]

Never mind the calls, if you don't pick up the phone immediately, cuz your are in the bathroom or busy or whatever. In my case I had to be on call always. I remember one time, we were texting and said goodbye.  Went to take a shower and he called, I didn't pick up, OH MY! apparently texting and then going to take a shower was not good enough explanation. Eventually I made it clear that I'm busy and started not answering right away. It worked, but it took a year at least for him to accept he is not the center of the world. Hope you can manage something similar as it is no state of life to be hooked to a phone, just because he needs to know that you are there 100%.

[Whiteheron]

 

Stbx refused to allow me to have a phone with texting capabilities when the kids were younger. Every time I took them outside to play, I'd have to send him and email to let him know where we were because without fail he'd wait until we were outside then start pounding the phone (my term for his calling repeatedly if I didn't answer). He'd had cctv cameras installed outside the house, so he could clearly see we were in the yard playing, but it didn't matter. One more hoop I had to jump through to "prove" I was constantly thinking of him.