DVRO and an aggressive exPDBF

[illmeetyouthere]

Hi all. I haven't posted in a long time but am hoping for some feedback or words of encouragement.

Last November I obtained a permanent (one year) restraining order against my ex boyfriend/father of our 2.5 year old son (never married, never lived together, dated 4 months [i know]). When we did family court counseling to work out a custody agreement, the counselor described his abuse as ongoing and pervasive and suggested 8 hrs of supervised visitation per week. The judge did not go with her recommendation. My ex has around 20 hrs a week/unsupervised/no overnights. That's a little background.

I have reported him for a couple of DVRO violations, all over our Talking Parents app, and one is presently with the DA office. my issue right now- he won't leave me the fuck alone. Pardon my french-it is almost impossiable for me to understand how someone who was at risk of supervised visitation wouldn't do everything in their power to demonstrate their competence.

The side issue is he is presently messaging-excessively-about ROFR- which I believe he does not have and he insists he does. Regardless, the issue he is harping about is that i told him a friend (who he despises) would be driving our son to preschool while i was in the hospital for a procedure.

he continues to message images of our agreement. his latest message said we can let our lawyers handle it.

my only reply was after his first message -i said "thank you for the info. i have a different understanding and will look into it."'

not only did i not violate ROFR bc i informed him and he was at work but he is obsessively texting with no reply from me!

I guess my question is should i say something about not having violated? or is it better to just continue ignoring him due to his history of trying to rope me into his insanity?

incidentally-he does rope me into some extent. i am so frustrated and exhausted and every time there's an incident all i can think is i have to deal with him forever.

thanks for reading.

[lightupthere]

Don't anwer him. Screenshot every one of his texts and give them to the lawyer.

He's trying to induce chaos in your life, their favorite pastime.

[Latchkey]

Hi illmeetyouthere,
I think you are handling this well. Really well. Remember, you can wait... 8 hrs, 24 hrs, etc to reply if it is not an emergency. Then if he messages you 20 times with no response about his disapproval of your son getting a ride to pre-school with a friend then you will have even more "evidence" or he may grow bored.
One of the biggest things to remember is that you can let his texts go "cold" before you respond.
As far as reporting this, unless he is wealthy, it seems like something not worth wasting money on but some will do it even if they have no chance of getting anything out of it.
Keeping a diary, a calendar and record of this along with the other DVRO violations should help your case and help your sanity atleast... especially when they are acting relatively normal so you can keep that in mind. Often I have found that PDs cycle, depending on the time of year as well, so you might see spikes in this type of thing during different times.
Keep us posted!