Incredible memory

[Jsinjin]

My uOCPDw has a near photographic memory.   Her brain seems to catalog stuff in clutter or in spaces instantly and record it.   I think sometimes that's why she doesn't see it as clutter.   She knows where everything is and it is completely indexed and cataloged.   She can even account for noticing that stuff has been used like flour or rice.   I know I can't remember where my keys or phone are even if I just had them.   She can know where every single piece of clutter is in piles of things down to a small item like a highlighter or a cat toy.

[DCF1952]

That's really interesting. My covert narc has that skill, but inconsistently- I guess it's whether he cares enough about the situation.

[Poison Ivy]

Many highly intelligent people have mental illnesses, personality disorders, or both. It can be particularly sad to see the wasted potential of high intelligence or great memory when a person uses it for such things as memorizing exactly where every hoarded item is located.

[Cascade]

My PDH has and incredibly bad memory for things like the family vacations we've had and any good times our family shared. He will remember if someone said something to upset him though, for years and years.

[Jsinjin]

My PDH has and incredibly bad memory for things like the family vacations we've had and any good times our family shared. He will remember if someone said something to upset him though, for years and years.

Funny!   No, mine has a near eidetic memory for every detail and every single piece of her years of collections.   I am the opposite I'll admit; I can't recall what day of the week it is or where my keys or phone are even if I'm holding them.

The memory she has bleeds over into another post I made about her correcting me and being absolute in details of stories of relaying anecdotes to friends.

[taken2far]

My uPDF claims to have a perfect memory and in his mind is never wrong. For years prior to going no contact I would question myself and my memory and fall into his recollection. After being no contact for several years and then briefly re-establishing contact, I realized how he gas lights. He twists the version of events and he'll emphatically say he said something or did something, that I know is untrue.

Once I realized how badly he was gaslighting me - I realized the only way forward was complete no contact, it's been 10 years since I stood up to him and his abuse. Cutting off my parents was not easy, but time has given new perspective and I realize how my parents don't add anything positive to my life - instead they add stress, pain and anger.  With limited time and amazing people who share joy and happiness with me and my family of choice - why would I want to bring their toxicity to my life.

Wish everyone well on their individual journey's. Remember to trust yourself and if you're running into these challenges - keep a journal. See if they are gas lighting or if they truly have a much better memory. We are trained to doubt ourselves, so it's easy to fall into these traps.

[Jsinjin]

Mine is definitely not gaslighting me.   It's much more granular and conspiratorial. Meaning she assumes everyone else is conspiring or trying to get away with something.   I always say she runs through hundreds of scenarios in her head for every situation and almost always lands on the very worst one as the likely outcome.   Her memory plays right into it.  Bizarre details like what page of the paper I was on when she last saw her (insert some piece of advertising spam mail or document with scribbles on it from two years ago).   And I think she assumes I am making it up that I don't know or remember where the missing thing is.