Hello.

[sharpobjects]

Hi! I am here because I'm the eldest daughter of a PD mother. Currently 24 years old.

I managed to move out of her house years ago, but couldn't cut contact completely due to siblings, overall family pressure and living in the same city. Still, I found some relief and was able to start healing myself somewhat. For a while, I thought I had figured things out and my plan was to move out of town eventually, and limit contact as much as possible so I could live my life away from her claws. I had started to rid myself of the guilt of not loving my mother.

Unfortunately, somehow I ended up letting myself be fooled by her again, as she pretended to change in order to suck me back in. And due to unforeseen circumstances, I am now being "forced" to see my mother every day, which hasn't been easy on me. I might expand on this in another post, as it's the main reason I found this forum.

Anyway, that's the gist of it. I already spent some time reading things here, attempting to find solace and advice. Upon seeing how much of a difference a supportive community could make, I decided to create an account for myself to interact better and connect with others in similar situations. I will be posting mainly on the PD Parents section of the forum, and I hope to eventually be able to help as much as others might help me.

Thank you for reading!

[bloomie]

Hi sharpobjects. Welcome to Out of the FOG. I am thankful you have officially joined the community. My heart is with you as I am also a daughter of a disordered mother. Finding tools and support when having to have daily contact is vital and I am really glad you reached out.

You have most likely found the toolbox and resources at the tabs above and I hope those things bring good help to you. There are great recommendations in the book reviews and the other online resources as well.

You are a great jump ahead of many of us here, myself included, that had no idea what was wrong with our mothers at the age you are at. That you have already recognized and planned to have limited contact indicates you recognize the toll your mother's behaviors are taking on you. For me, I knew there were serious issues with my mother's behaviors, but I didn't have the wherewithal you already have to realize how badly I needed to distance myself. 

Finding others, like you have here, who have experienced so many similar difficulties in relationship with family members has been a healing experience like little else for me. I needed all the spokes on the wheel of recovering to get myself to a healthier place and moving forward in my life. Therapy, a wise mentor, books, vids, articles, and time here.

That you recognize you were lured in to believe your mother had changed is key! I hope you will keep coming back and sharing as you are able to! It really helps to lighten a heavy load to be understood and supported!

[sharpobjects]

Hi, bloomie! Thank you so much for the warm welcome, and I'll make sure to check out more resources. 

You are a great jump ahead of many of us here, myself included, that had no idea what was wrong with our mothers at the age you are at. That you have already recognized and planned to have limited contact indicates you recognize the toll your mother's behaviors are taking on you.

Honestly, I have only the internet to thank for this. As a teen, things were bad and I had no idea why. At first, I just thought there was something wrong with me. It was only through a lot of Googling and reading that I started to see things from a different perspective. And it turns out that my dad was deeply affected by her behavior while they were together, so I reached out to him once I got a little older and we had an honest conversation that also helped shine a light on everything. He remains my strongest lifeline when it comes to this, but I also understand now why he can't bring himself to talk to her. I got quite lucky there too, being able to rely on the support of another parent.

I don't even know where I'd be if it wasn't for online resources, which is why I'll always be grateful for forums like this.