Here's the new thread
https://www.outofthefog.net/forum/index.php?topic=90404.120
You are doing great! I am not writing much in your thread but I am following you. As you wrote in mine, our PD's looks a bit similar. I really hope you get this and get custody, I am rooting for you!
I dunno man I keep getting shafted, the attorney I thought did pro bono wont take it without pay, which I don't mind I can pay him but he's telling me get an attorney in her county, and I can't get ahold of the GAL now, and I'm scared to death my ex is going to be gone before the next hearing (she has already boasted about moving to another state in March.) A court order won't stop her, it will just make her run faster, and I'm being kept out of everything. It's maddening.
Do you have that boast (about moving) in text?
If so, CPS and the GAL may be inclined to escalate, including taking physical custody rather than waiting.
You say you can't reach the GAL, I assume you've left a message. Did the message include this information?
She finally called me back, it was an enlightening conversation, it seems that CPS in my county is not looking for my ex but her sister, the GAL said she couldn't tell me why because it was "confidential". But she was surprised to hear ( even though I left her a message three weeks ago saying the same) that my ex plans to leave the state, her reply was "she can't do that with a court order in place like this". I explained that the woman doesn't care about logic or court orders, just what she wants. Also even though they took my daughter (legally) they have filed a petition for neglect yet, it's a Juvenile Delinquent case.
No I have no texts stating she is moving, her BIL told me in Nov. my son verified in person a couple weeks later then she verified and told what region in that state they were moving to in Dec.
Well. I am quite disappointed - and quite a bit confused - to hear it's not your ex CPS is looking at.
They looking at her in her home county but in mine the GAL claims it is her sister named in the case but the letter clearly states my ex's name as who they were try to find.
So I spoke to the custody advocate today, and we'll she said the situation going on in my ex's home county has more holes then a block of Swiss. And basically it is imperative I get a lawyer involved which I have it's just about paying him. She too does not understand why a lawyer has not been put in place already, that even with an mdp the parents should have council available. Nor does she understand why I'm being kept out of the loop and the child sent directly into the states custody.
I'm going insane time is ticking, I've been sick with possible Covid for a damn week, and am having to wait for payday to even consult with a lawyer. Maddening
Maddening indeed, I'm sorry. :( I hope you heal completely and soon, and may payday hurry up.
Wish me luck y'all go to see a new Attorney tomorrow after work, hope he will help me.
Good luck! Let us know how it goes!
Good luck, hope it all goes well!
Ok it went really well, freaked me out a little at how much I actually have to do but he was really optimistic about us winning. He was steamrolled about what was going on in her county am I. He is so hired and this express is moving.
Great, famtastic news.
Yep I just gotta figure out the $4200 retainer cause my refund may very well not arrive til July
I am going to her County and filing the paperwork friday
Ok so I went Friday to file and was turned away, I can't believe the school board in her county doesn't keep school records, but it's funny, she's been talking my ear off since Thursday. She ended up giving me her address, so I am going to go file tomorrow, she still claims( and showed me seemingly text message proof) that the caseworker does have an investigation going against myself and my sister, she suggested we go together to sue or whatever CPS, because it's BS that nothing is being done. She went on to state she wants to give me custody of our daughter and let me have the other two on the weekends that she is getting tired of having to shoulder the full responsibility of them and she asked me about child support, she claimed she is going to have to quit her job to be able to care for the kids now that her husband is going back on the road and I got text message proof she is leaving the state. She actually left the state over the weekend, , I am assuming she came back today for work.
Did I do something wrong? Nobody has responded to my thread in a while was just wondering. I hopefully have everyI need now and am walking out the door to go get these papers filed. Wish me luck.
Sorry mate, am out with a friend trying to get normality and gave not been in here much. But I am fully behind you rooying for you. Good luck!
Also rooting for you! Great news that you have nearly everything. GOOD LUCK!!
I'm here as well!
Sorry, I don't have a lot of experience with the complications you're going through, so I didn't weigh in.
PS I have been divorced, but it seemed much simpler way back . And we both just wanted out ?
Also, I do wonder if the events across the world have been generally overwhelming/ diverting. There's less 'traffic' on the board atm.
It doesn't make your issue less important though. Good luck !!!
I'm confused, G.
ANYONE can file anything in Court typically...the saying goes....
"You can't lock the courthouse steps."
I don't understand why you were turned away at the courthouse.
Ty guys
First I didn't have her address then I was missing a section that legal aid had said I didn't need but I have everything now unless they throw something new in lol.
:like: :like:
OMG she is so crazy making, she instill insisting everything is COS's fault. No responsibility at all.
That will never, ever, ever change.
Swears she has the caseworkers personal cell number geeemoneee CPS is out of it.
I wouldn't trust a word coming out of your ex's mouth. Looking back, I see how PDs SAY things to knock us off our horses, off track, off center when the THING they said is absolutely untrue or a partial truth designed to unhinge us.
When we repeat hat they say WE APPEAR unhinged, IME.
When we believe what they say we sometimes behave in unhinged ways.
If we allow ourselves to be unhinged, we're sabotaging ourselves and that's one thing PDs tend to count on heavily, iME.
:yeahthat:
I agree with you completely, I know the woman is a pathological liar, but she can be so damn convincing, if I hadnt been in constant communication with CPS I would be believing her. I'm afraid she's going to get herself in deep crap if she keeps lying about them the way she is. I mean I have it all documented.She is supposed to let me have a "supervised" visit next weekend IF the court and CPS allows it. She keeps going on that she hates that CPS is keeping the kids from my mom, that the court is doing this and that, that I and my family had to cause this and that. Even though she lost custody due to "failure to comply". Zero responsibility from her. CPS told me even though they are "out" of it they have not deemed the children to be in a "safe" environment. That they are considering taking her physical custody as well.
I feel such compassion for your situation, G.
The PDs get inside our heads and get us spinning spinning..... keeping our attention on them. Nose on the pebble,. unable to see everything else around us, which is problematic, IME.
I hope you can stop listening to and engaging your ex.
Just..... stop.
She doesn't say anything helpful to you or your children..... everything is designed to avoid consequences for herself.
If you can stop repeating what she says...... you'll sound more rational and feel more stable, IME. If you can stop letting her words INTO your head, you'll have a better chance of staying level and balanced for what comes next, IME.
Agreed hhar my only grumble is that she has no worries about her job during this, she works night shift. But I am about to lose mine over missing so much.
I;m sorry you're losing your job bc of missed work. Maybe you'll find an evening job that suits you better. I see help wanted signs everywhere these days.
Good luck to you, G.
I take it you're not actually losing your job but feeling the strain of pushing it. I hope you can keep it if it's working out for you and the pay is good.
I was given one more chance to not miss or be late, but i have to miss this coming for my daughter's hearing sooo
I hope you've applied for other jobs while you still have a job.....easier to get another job, IME.
Maybe prepare a short blurb about your legal struggles and how new job won't be negatively impacted if court goes on and on.
I don't know what exactly you're up against, but I want you to think it through and have your responses ready for any job interview.
Of course hhar but Im hoping "NOT" to lose this job lol. Ive been talking with my boss and I think we might have an understanding.
Its wild how once OUT you see and here references to PD in everything was listening to to "Take me to church" by Hozier for example.... That chorus! Damn! "Take me to church! Ill worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies, Ill tell you my sins so you can can sharpen your knife, Offer me that deathless death, good god let me gove you my life!" Wow just wow!
Now that I am working again she suddenly wants to let me see the kids but still claims she hs to get "approval" fom CPS.
She wants me to ride with them to the state forest this weekend to spend time with the kids I really dont want to be alone with her there or anywhere really but I do want to see my kids. She is still insisting she has to get approval from CPS first.
I don't blame you for feeling uneasy. I have no idea what I would do in that situation. As I recall, you have no car, so you either get trapped or you don't see the kids and get made out to be the bad guy.
You should just get your 50-50 parenting time like you legally have for your son and logically should have for your daughters, sigh. Not on her terms, not going where she wants, but you, at your place. Ughh.
It's just extremely hard for me to believe that CPS has supposedly barred the father from access to his children WITHOUT CONTACTING HIM.
I call bullshit.
They havent square thats the rub.. I have spoken to 3 seperate people at CPS and my daughter's GAL They have all stated that there is no investigation against me or my family, no allegations have ever been made, and no orders have ever been enacted to keep the kids away from me or my family. So yes "bullshit" is the word of the day!
Well Square I dont think anybody liked my song reference or maybe like me it hit too close to home
Ha, Hozier? I actually replied but my Internet died and ate my post lol. Yeah I do agree that song addresses this kind of toxic dynamic.
Well my sister probably just fucked my every chance of getting my kids, she decided it would be proper to get into a knock down drag out in front of the courthouse. I have filed my papers by the way.
How does your sister's behavior affect your legal standing?
And, congrats!!
Heres an update my ex asked cps to basically put my daughter away and somehow magically there now is an active investigation through cps against my sister, the GAL magically didnt know until today about it and cps swears they told anything me anything different . Still no paperwork still no investigation at my house. So i dont know what to think anymore. It pretty much proves CPS's case.
I'm not sure I understood fully, sounds like CPS maybe screwed up notifying various people about important info?
Your ex is talking about surrendering your daughter to the syatem? Jesus. You need to find out exactly how you can be the one she goes right to.
They wont let me take her, and Really all i need is my own home.
Ok i have the girls AOP's its sad to me my daughter told me several times she wanted to go home with me.
My ex just texted me she went to cps and behind my back surrendered our daughter to them to be placed in the State Hospital. I go back to my lawyer tomorrow and we will go from there.
This is terrible IF TRUE. Please reach out to CPS and seek confirmation.
Omg
Oh this time i know its true she was begging them at the courthouse to take her. And I dot like her caseworker at all she verified everything my ex has said is true. She talks to her day and night. personally think she is getting too "involved" and and might be anti father cause she been hostile and defensive with me from day one. And she did give my ex her personal number. I find it strange tho that she is the only that has verified an investigation and all and even the GAL didnt know anything about it until speaking to her.
My ex's husband has been messaging me harassing me for the past hour, she told him about something that happened to me in the 2nd grade and he's taunting and making fun of me about it.
Quote from: Gettintired76 on March 18, 2022, 03:03:18 AM
My ex's husband has been messaging me harassing me for the past hour, she told him about something that happened to me in the 2nd grade and he's taunting and making fun of me about it.
Call the police!
Whats everybody into this weekend? God I dread tomorrow sooo much! She gets served her papers in the morning. I thought I would be happy to have that done, and hell I am, but Im sad too, sad that it had to happen, sad for her that she is the way she is. Especially sad for my babies that they have to go through all of this. My son started talking to me friday night, we are making plans to attend a rock festival in September. Barring nothing happening betweenow and then. Well keep me and especially my kids in your thoughts through this ordeal I do believe I see a tiny lil ray of light way down there at the end of this thing.
Definitely keeping you guys in my thoughts and I'm certain so are other people who don't necessarily post.
I second Square's post.
Good luck 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻
Hi Gettintired76,
I don't usually post because I would only be repeating what others have already said.
But OMyGoodness I am wishing you so much luck and all good things!! I'm reading every few days and I'm rooting really hard for you and your family!!
:thewave: :cheer:
Awww ty so much Beautiful that really means alot!
Well...ever since her husbands...um...outburst? My ex has been super kind and suddenly I can call and videochat and see the kids anytime I want. Of course I only trust her as far as I can throw her but at least I've regained contact with my kids, right? I cant help feeling like she knows he really screwed up and she's trying to cover herself. I so hate being a cynic but I really cant help it can I?
It's wise.
Nuff said lol
Ok...where to start?....I ended up in the ER last night, my stomach is severely ulcerative and now being treated. However after hearing my cardiac history they ran an EKG, and well .... Not good, I was diagnosed with severe LVH (Left Ventricle Hyportrophy) and my heart may last five more years without treatment , so Im set up with a cardiologist to go over the results and next steps. They say I may need a pacemaker.
Its funny, the one person I never dreamed of was who sat there on messenger with me while I was alone in the hospital...my ex... every once in awhile she'll surprise you with just alittle but of gold on her heart lol...for a little while....
Quote from: Gettintired76 on March 22, 2022, 12:40:12 PM
Ok...where to start?....I ended up in the ER last night, my stomach is severely ulcerative and now being treated. However after hearing my cardiac history they ran an EKG, and well .... Not good, I was diagnosed with severe LVH (Left Ventricle Hyportrophy) and my heart may last five more years without treatment , so Im set up with a cardiologist to go over the results and next steps. They say I may need a pacemaker.
That is bad news mate, I really hope you get better quick and get the treatment you need! All the best!
Oh no, what scary news! I hope things will turn out much better than feared.
Glad your ex is being supportive right now, though you are right to not expect it to last, unfortunately. But we take what we can.
My ex now claims CPS from county has a case out against my family, who would have called them I have no clue. I just dont know whether to believe her.
Im just blown away, COS came to interview my family today, they are supposed to come back to interview me tomorrow supposedly Autumn has made some hefty accusations against everyone of my sisters, i know they didnt do anything i was around them 24/7, this is just so surreal, none of this was happening until my ex married the guy then not even a month in all of this started.
That's supposed to be CPS
I feel like nobody loves me no more lol, no seriously she skipped a promised phone call again tonight surprise surprise well hopefully i still get the kids Saturday.
Ok up date a. My ex is now letting me have my kids twice a week, b. CPS over is gone full throttle (however unlike in her county they actually came to talk to us) they have threatened to remove my daughter from my ex if she doesnt comply to their demands. Back to my visitations: Me and the kiddos had an awesome time yesterday, we went to Red Lobster for lunch and then to Sky Zone (a trampoline park) Cabela's(The girls like their aquarium and the stuffed wildlife exhibits) then finished it off with Baskin-Robbins for ice cream.
So is your middle daughter in foster care or not? You said she had been surrendered.
There's a lot to deal with here!
I'm so glad you're getting to see the kids more, but I wouldn't trust your Ex an inch. She's obviously playing some kind of game, probably for the CPSs benefit. Take the enjoyment, don't let your guard down. Document everything.
I don't even know what to say about your heart condition. Apart from that it's damned unfair, and I hope you're on the list for a transplant/ surgery ? What's the plan ?
I personally hope you haven't told Ex, but that's your business.
Stay safe x
Waiting for a cardiologist, they are probably going to put in a pacemaker, as for my daughter no my middle daughter is still with her mother, for now. Wanna hear sumthin even more unfair? I just found out a woman Ive been friends with for at least 40 yrs, was killed in a car crash. Soooo pissy night for me.
I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. I know what a shock it is to find out something like that.
Also still sending you good thoughts for your cardiac condition. Getting a pacemaker is not something I'd look forward to but I hope it will have very good results.
I'm relieve to hear middle DD is not in foster care. (I guess. Her current situation is very bad but foster care is rolling the dice and is stressful even with a good family).
Thank you sooo much, shock isnt the word for it, Im the last one standing from our little "group". There were five of us, my "cousin" (she my uncle's niece by marriage), her boyfriend/then husband, his brother, me, and my friend that just passed. All died so young, goes to show you just never know. I have a distinct feeling from what the caseworker said the CPS over here is not at all impressed with my ex or her county. He said she is being evasive and not at all forthcoming with information. So I dont know what's going to happen.
New update, my ex refuses to answer the court papers, now what? She went ballistic when I mentioned mediation, said she was going to sue me for slander, finally agreed on joint custody of the girl but it has to be on her terms. And I may or may not have a girlfriend (totally happened by accident).
Now what is a question for your lawyer. Also it's not on ex's terms but what the court decides.
You need custody that has nothing to do with ex. No bullshit like being trapped in a car with her while you ride along somewhere that she picked on the day and time she picked. YOUR time with the kids WITHOUT the ex, doing what YOU decide.
Agreed, she basically told me I could have my gf around during our "family time", has all this shit planned for "us" while her hubby is gone. Mind numbing and it's starting to piss me off all the rules HE has instated, the kids arent allowed to bathe anymore! They are forced to shower, my 11 yr old hates to shower she burns herself and doesnt like the way the water feels, she bathes, she soaks with her toys lining the rim of the tub and talks to herself. No wonder they cant get her to sleep she lost her wind down time.
Its killing me that Ive given her over $1000 the past month because she quit her job and he takes off for months at a time taking all there money and their ebt with him. Ive had to buy their groceries twice already, and pay for has for her.
Are you required to give that money? My concern is that this money should be going to get you custody, including a suitable place to live, legal fees, etc.
And if indeed child support is required I wonder if that can be reevaluated given the mother's marriage and the situation being different.
No its not required i just feel bad the kids not having anythng to eat and takes off with what money they (which is her money at the moment, he was laid off without pay all winter). I know it could but right now do have plenty to helpp them
It's your call but keep in mind having your own place probably will factor into custody.
The more custody you have, the more your resources go directly toward yiur children rather than supporting another man's wife.
Agreed, and btw i meant to say said I couldn't have my gf around during our "family" times. And I move into my own place May 1st
YES!! Congratulations and WELL DONE.
Ty. I told my ex for the fifteenth tome that we know longer have a family that she made sure of that.
Havent heard from anybody in a bit everyone ok?
Quote from: Gettintired76 on April 06, 2022, 10:58:12 PM
Havent heard from anybody in a bit everyone ok?
Sorry but so up in my own mess so not writing much. I am following you and hope all is going in the right direction.
Any updates?
Not really gotta call my attorney tomorrow and find out what exactly ive paid him for cause I heard fm him once in three weeks he's been hired. Ive heard that the Judge in her county is throwing out the case against my daughter and going after CPS for incompetence and possible corruption. But as fas I know the case in my county still stands. I know she recieved the papers week befre last and I have text proof she refuses to do anything and threatened to hold the kids if I didnt withdrawl. She refused mediation and parenting plans, and its all in black and white. She threatened to sue me for slander and put me on ignore saying i was being mean because I told her she needed to get f$& over what was said about her it was done and over she needs to think about the kids now.
Go go Getting Tired !
I feel your anger. Sounds like it's acting as a spring board to get onto people who aren't doing what they should. Including your ex, who seems to have gone into fight and flight mode now she's not 'winning'.
:thumbup:
Im at least getting to see my kids now, pisses me off tho that I have to "abide" by her husband's rules or im being disrespectful of everything "they" have accomplished. Yesterday my youngest acted up alittle and my right in front of told she better stop or she was going to tell her daddy and he would reinstate punishments
I think you all know the drill! This thread has gotten to five pages so I'm going to lock it per our guidelines. Feel free to start a new thread!