Unbearably arrogant gc

[eternallystuck]

Hey guys it's been a while & ive been slowly getting on my feet and got my own place so I'm doing tons better in that regard but today I need to come here & offload about my gc sis who is quite frankly unbearable to be around!!! FYI I have not seen her in months & could go another decade quite easily

So this week my npd m invited me out, we've been getting on better of late and shockingly she seems to have been respecting the fact she has utterly ruined my mental health and feels some sympathy (without accountability obv). I have an inkling this is mainly out of guilt, or perhaps she is cheating on her partner or something Cos it's very out of character for her but whatever it is I'll take it!! (whilst remaining  cautious)

However she 'forgot' to mention my unbearably arrogant gc sis was coming along to this family affair. Goodness, if swallowing the years of undeniable tension between me & npd m wasn't enough, dealing with her aswell is enough to send one running for the hills. It's like putting a piece of meat near an alligator and expecting it not to eat it. It will snap , it can't help itself

Immediately I felt my eyes roll & knew what was coming. I would of stayed home if I knew I'd have to deal with her too. There hasn't been a single point in time me & my sister haven't been in the same room & argued. I can't remember the last time we texted happy bday to each other- that's how 'close' we are. We don't even bother to pretend anymore. We're fundamentally opposed just as the npd wants.  If I so much as breathe she will find some condescending, rude & provactive comment to make & all hell breaks loose.

Sure enough after 3 hours of listening to my sister boast to my m about her friend that makes lots of money doing something 'dubious' at best & her flaunt her 'knowledge' I was already itching to die. Imagine someone with the most exaggerated try hard posh accent who wants everybody to know they think they're better than them at all times.  That is my sis

So anyway as usual my sis is just awaiting her excuse to attack & belittle me so she can assert her puesdo confidence to get supply .

We got into the topic of a very heated political debate in British media that has been dividing most people and tbh this was spurred on my sister who thinks her opinion about everything is right & will argue it to death

Very quickly npd m & gc are back to their usual tricks laughing & mocking me whilst ignoring all my valid points & using it to assessenate my character. And boy do they like to drag it out. Every time they do this it's like high school again.  Because god forbid you have a different opinion to two narcissists

Anyway it ended with me telling my sis , good luck with your arrogance, that's probably why you've never had a relationship . By this point the afternoon had obv turned sour

I know this sounds mean, but my sis is so full of herself it's laughable. I'm convinced she is neurotic. This is the girl who I have done favours for despite her being horrible but told me to 'f off, I don't care'' When I was stranded & needed to crash ONE time. She also later told me she only used me for those favours. The girl who constantly run the heating dry when growing up & HAD to shower first. Never ever shared toys. Couldn't stand our shoulders touching in a car. Pulled her face in every family photo. Constantly threw herself on the floor & told my m I hit her so I was violently punished by m. Got away with murder & had her violent spiteful outbursts enabled that would get her punched by strangers.  Tried to get me arrested after I defended myself against her spouting lies about me & then physically attacking me. Gaslights me & demonises me to her 'friends'. The girl who pocketed half the money a relative gave us for a meal together . She just has this total delusional air of arrogance & selfish streak & most of it stems from being npd m's cherished sidekick. I can't even act surprised given that she has modelled most of her worst attributes on my m. But what's funny is they play up to it in front  of me to make me feel isolated.  Behind closed doors their relationship is much more nuanced & flimsy . I've found out things they don't think I know. & interestingly both npd m & gc recognise each other's worst traits and don't see a connection at all

The way she looks at you it's like you're not worthy to breathe near her. According to her she gets many 'offers' from men but refuses then all. I call bs, the reason she's perpetually single is because she's unbearable. People trying to bone is differently than attracting & holding a partner. She will belittle you over asking where the remote is. She's THAT kind of person. She doesn't let anything pass. And this is where we differ, I've had relationship experience since 15. Some bad some very good. I know how to function in one & compromise. She has none of this as she believes she's too good for anyone. I do think it speaks volumes about her that she is still yet to get a bf bc most women I meet that are insecure, unstable & arrogant also seem to struggle in that dept- clueless as to why, they're so great!

Some years ago an incident happened where I think a guy called her out for lying and she had this neurotic episode & pretended to faint. Really what happened is he rejected her & she got all neurotic about it. It was all so dramatic as usual. Soap opera hysteria. She is just like my m, throw rocks from a glass house & get hysterical when the consequences come knocking. People like that to me are a laughing stock & are certainly in no position to belittle other people's mental health & intelligence. Yet gc sis does this 24/7 despite her being on medication since a young age, she still finds it in herself to Mock me when I'm at a low point & make me seem unstable to ppl. So much for sisterhood!

It's so frustrating because people find it so off im not close to her or my m (dad went awol early) . It looks like I'm the odd one out, ripe for suspicion and I'm over defending myself to ppl irl about it. We are just a bunch of mismatched ppl drawn together by blood.I mean I'm aware it's awkward we don't even celebrate each others bday. But I think- what do you want me to do? I would love a sis to go on dates and holidays with. I would love an m but they're both the anti christ to a healthy loving bond. Unless I become like them, I have no choice. If you spoke to my sis you would think I'm the sis from hell, but she wouldn't mention any of the above to ppl. It's so eye poppingly frustrating

I guess I just felt like letting this out since in real life people don't get it. I literally can't get on with her at all. I have put far more effort in to be met with hostility. She doesn't even like me or give me any respect so what choice do I have?  I'm tired of it reflecting bad on me that my sis is unbearable.

The Sad thing is, this is mostly the result of the npd, who spent most our childhood scolding me whilst glorifying the other.

[guitarman]

What an awful, arrogant, self entitled person your sister sounds like. She sounds like she could be a very dangerous person to be around with her false allegations about you. I can relate to what you write about as I have a uBPD/uNPD sister.

The best thing to do is to ignore her. She would hate that. Don't rise to the bait. Don't feed her narcissistic supply when provoked. It's exactly what she wants. Try Grey Rock and Medium Chill all the time with her. Don't react to her. Stay calm no matter what happens.

I know it's easy to say but not so easy to do but with practice it does become easier. My sister tries to provoke me and push all my buttons but I try to ignore her. She can have very childish temper tantrums but I behave as an adult, stay calm and don't react.

I pity my sister as she alienates everyone by her extreme behaviour. She's going to be a very sad lonely old woman. I'm not going to be around to look after her. She'll be so lonely on the top of her mountain looking down on everyone else thinking that she is better than everyone else and thinking that she knows everything. Where are her friends?

I say to myself that my sister is just someone that I used to know. It's how I emotionally detach myself from her and all her demands. I owe her nothing. I don't have to be her target of abuse. I have to protect myself. I don't do "idiot compassion" any more.

"Good luck with your arrogance, that's probably why you've never had a relationship." Yes indeed!! Who would want to spend their life with her?

My sister has destroyed so many people's lives. I don't want her to destroy mine as well.

Good luck coping with your N mother as well. What a pair. It's good that you have insight into what is going on. Let them feed off each other and don't get eaten up yourself. Observe don't absorb. You can't choose your family but you can choose your friends.

Best wishes

guitarman X

[eternallystuck]

Hey guitar man

Thanks for your response.

You're right, my first mistake tbh was not leaving the minute I knew she was coming. Bc even without her provoking me I find her presence difficult to tolerate. Luckily I rarely have to see her now she lives miles away so that's a relief!

They truly are a pair which is why I realised I need to avoid being around both of them at once. 3 is a crowd .

Well good look to them I say, I guarantee both our pd siblings will eventually run into a partner that relays everything we warned them about. There's no drumming common sense into people committed to staying time deaf!