Co-parenting? Advice?

[DCF1952]

 I've been reading a book about co-parenting with a narcissist. The book recommends that when they start to "act up" that I take the children until the narcissist calms down. I already know that it won't be an option and will only trigger him more. On one occasion when the children were small during an argument, I tried to take them with me and he physically pulled the car seat with our son out of my hands. Now that they are older, I don't know that he would physically prevent them from leaving with me, but he is likely to put emotional pressure on them to stay with him and I don't want to subject them to that.

Early after the birth of our children  he made several comments about how he believed that I would try to keep them from him and would also accuse me of trying to keep him from seeing "his" children when we would spend weekends at my moms.

Has any one had this experience?

[notrightinthehead]

It took me far too many years before I figured out what I was dealing with. So, congratulations that you know.
My kids knew "time out" a concept Supernanny, a program on TV, many many years ago, made popular. That's what I said to my kids. We will give daddy a time out to compose himself. And we left. My husband never attacked me physically, so I could safely do that. Since yours might be different, you need to make sure you can do it safely. You might have to make emergency plans.

Of course there is a price to pay afterwards. In my case it used to be silent treatment. When he tried to talk about it, I used broken record by repeating "I will not allow myself or the kids to stay around when you ....I am perfectly happy to discuss this in a calm and civil way."

You need to be consistent. Mine followed me screaming louder when I left the room, followed me when I left the house, I had to get into the car and drive to a parking lot, sitting around there for an hour or longer. But after I had done that several times, he immediately lowered his voice when I got up.

Another thing I did was take out my phone and record his raging. Made him calm down quickly. It could also be good to have should you ever contemplate leaving and fighting for custody. Good luck to you!