Greetings to all the brave people here.
I had an interesting conversation with a person that I consider in many ways to be a mentor to me. Almost family actually.
The conversation had turned to my perspective on the relationship with the exwBPD. I realize that each individual has a different take on what success or failure in a relationship is. Then they said some things that to me provided a different perspective that gave me a great deal of peace.
I'll paraphrase their statements.
"There was no failure at all in the situation you were in. It was a no win no matter what you did. Give yourself kudos for maintaining sanity and not losing it."
"Yes, you surviving and getting out of that toxic situation is a Huge win!"
I had come to the same conclusions, yet having another verify them, gave me a serious boost in my trusting of myself, which I have been working on since going NC. Also having my own sanity verified was a weight that I had not known that I was carrying.
Hope that this helps others.
Wishing all here all the best.
StartingHealing - there is something so grounded, practical even, in these wise words you share. Thank you! They have helped me, too!
Your most welcome bloomie.