Hi

[Hopeand salvation]

Hi,
I found this website after it was recommended to me. I was married to a narcissist for almost 13 years and I have only just become aware of his condition, for no other reason then taking the time to speak to someone about his behavior and why this is occurring. I have a young son with this man and he has spent the last 2.5 years using him as a pawn in his nasty vindictive game of hate, I have been verbally, mentally and emotionally abused, stalked, trashed and lied about, he has all but turned my friends against me and he has even tried to manipulate my son to believe I am not his real mum. I am currently stuck in a small town and really need to get away to start fresh but my ex is so controlling he refuses for me to take my son and I can't leave him and I wont. My current partner is moving to the other side of the country to secure ongoing work and I can't go because if my ex allows me to do this then he wont be able to control me and will lose control of the situation, if I stay and I am stuck without the ability to go anywhere then he still has the ability to control me and where I live while taking away my little piece of happiness. I have concerns for my safety once my partner leaves and while I have been to the police there is little they can do unless he puts a foot out of line. I constantly live in fear without the ability to get away from it.
I hope to be able to find a support network through this forum to help me along my way to understanding how to deal with the situation I am in.

[bloomie]

Hi and welcome. I am thankful you have found this resource for support and encouragement in what sounds like a very difficult situation. I want to point you toward our Co-parenting and Secondary Relationships board where you will find a group of wise folks who have insights and practical suggestions to offer for your specific questions and concerns.

I am so sorry for all that you are going through and sense a great deal of despair in your post. Please read through the Personality traits information and toolbox found at the drop down menus above and I also want to link you to our emergency information: https://outofthefog.website/emergency/

Another great resource is the work of Bill Eddy around dealing with high conflict people: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/search?q=articles

It also would be a great support to you to talk with a domestic violence counselor in the surrounding area where you live if available and if you have not already, a therapist for in real life support. Another great resource is found here: https://www.thehotline.org

Be careful to protect your privacy and anonymity as you share here as well as the forum is publicly viewable.

We welcome you and hope you will find a bit of comfort and respite as you engage with the community.