MIL turned up at my house screaming

[Spirit in the sky]

No contact isn't going well with NMIL.

I got a phone call at work today, I didn't answer but a colleague recognised the voice as my mother in law, she  wouldn't leave a message and asked what time I was finishing work.

When I got home hubby told me his mother had come to our house. He refused to let her in and she was screaming in the street. She eventually left after yelling some swear words.

Obviously I wasn't very pleased to put it mildly, so I phoned her and she refused to answer. So I texted.

I'm not sure what part of I don't want any involvement in your problems you didn't understand. Do not phone me at work, at my home or come to my house and scream in the street. Any sympathy I had for you has run out. Do not contact me again.

[Penny Lane]

Oh man Spirit in the sky. I'm so sorry.

DH and I had something similar happen with his ex. He set a new boundary. She lost it. She called his work (I wasn't there but apparently it was so bad that his boss unprompted told security to not let her onto the site). She came to our house, she stood outside screaming, she tried to push her way in, finally H had to call the police. At that point she told them we were doing drugs in the house.

This was years ago and it's still traumatic for me. It was a real turning point in the relationship and not for the better. We saw how ugly she could really get when she wanted to.

At the time we decided to not go for a protection order in court, and in retrospect that was a mistake. Something to consider.

I'm so sorry this happened to you. I really know how alarming and upsetting it can be. I hope you can continue your no contact. I hope she eventually moves on to someone or something else and you can just live your life.

[Spirit in the sky]

Thanks Penny Lane

We were expecting it to be honest. For me it's the final nail in coffin, even if my hubby resumes contact,  i'm done. There is no going back for me now. This woman has been nasty, controlling and verbally abusive to me for 18 years.

I'm not being a victim any longer, the only way to deal with bullies is to stand up to them. She can do her worst, I'm standing strong !

[Thru the Rain]

You are describing a scenario I'm concerned about.

We've been NC with uNFIL for a long time - 10+ years at this point.

He found out we moved last year, and tracked down our new address. I'm worried that he will turn up at our house uninvited and unwanted.

He sent us letter recently to our new address. He seemed very angry, and very sarcastic, and I think if he turned up here it wouldn't go well.

I'm sorry I don't have any advice, just the assurance that you're not alone in this boat.

[Spirit in the sky]

Hi Thru the Rain

I was afraid it would happen and it's the reason we stopped no contact last time. But I'm so sick of her toxic behaviour I and the way it has effected my life for 18 years, I've decided I'm not backing down.

I found some sort of inner strength these last 2 days. And when faced with going back to her controlling manipulative behaviour or standing my ground. I'm choosing to fight.

I hope you aren't faced with this situation, but if you are I hope you find the same inner strength. Sometimes we have to face our fear, and truthfully it wasn't as bad as I had imagined.