I got a brief email from my uNBPDm for the first time in over 6 months of NC. While I did read it, I promptly deleted it, I didn't respond and I didn't cry :yahoo:
I am so relieved and happy to FEEL like I am making progress! Like many of you, I have struggled with feeling like a terrible person for cutting off a parent, but my head is making it's way to a better space!
:yourock:
This is so hard to do. So congratulations. We are 3 1/2 years NC, and I don't mind telling you I am still (1) spoiling for a fight, and (2) deep inside, wanting a positive resolution I know is near impossible.
We've blocked their emails, texts, and phone numbers, so all we ever get is mail to our son: intercepted and disposed of.
The opposite of love is indifference. I am proud of you for staying in control. That is a real achievement.
Thank you Starboard!!!
Once I decided to go NC, I decided exactly that, no contact. So a couple of weeks ago I got the first email in six months, and rather than cave and give a reply, I typed up a very concise, bullet list of the clearly explained beforehand reasons that I've decided to go no-contact. It took a couple of hours to complete, and with each point I validated my reasoning and resolve of why I will never reply to another attempt to manipulate me into obeying them to cave in and give a reply. I was very pleased and 100% convinced that I made my case correctly, plainly and easy to understand, then filed it on my USB backup share.
All of this was for my benefit, not theirs and they are still never getting a response from me.
Moxie, I am so glad to hear that you are getting to this point! I have found for myself that an absolute moratorium from any contact/correspondence has the only way to that path. I don't open mail from them, don't engage in any way. Zero. I have cut out a malignant tumor - FOO) and as far as I can tell, I am better off in every way. Giving myself time to heal without even the smallest dose of their poison- has led me to freedom. I am not giving that up - too hard won. Too much despair, anxiety, depression,
Anger and mind -f?#€ry to EVER jump into that vat of burning acid.l again.
What stood out to me in your writing is the you are FEELING the positive benefits of your suffering. That is huge - letting your mind stop driving the bus and realizing that your body is where the true progress comes from. Over time, your body will continue to guide you... No sadness, no dread.... Just acceptance and peace. I no longer feel knocked off balance for days when I am contacted.Build on your newfound strength. I am rooting for you!