Hypochiondria?

[p123]

Is this a common behaviour?

Never seen anything like it with my Dad. He CONSTANTLY moans about his knees. Fair enough hes got arthritic but, against doctors advice, he takes HALF the dose of painkillers. (Don't ask-  his stupid friend told him he'd get addicted).

Iv'e got back problems and, some days, I'm literally counting down the minutes to take my next dose. I've got to force myself to ensure I don't take too much!

He phones me - been ill. Had ahead cold. YESTERDAY but I'm ok now. One day?

Hes the same with his doctor. Called them for a home visit so many times they refuse now. Senior partner phoned him and asked him to stop doing.

Ambulances. I can't count. Same with them. They used to rush out. Hes been to hospital a few times, home in a few hours. Always annoyed they dont admit him. They've twigged. Last time they phoned him (and worked out it wasnt serious I guess) and turned up next day.

Fake chest pains. A few of these. I've zoomed over and then hes admitted he hasnt. Nice.
Fake hospital admissions. Twice. 99.9% hes deliberately hit his head on the cupboard to get admitted. (Both were the day after the doctor refused to admit him with a chest infection and he was convinced he should be in hospital). Hospital noticed the wound was not consistent with his story.

[SparkStillLit]

My updated MIL does this FOR SURE. She always has mysterious dire illnesses that drs can't diagnose because of course they're all stupid. She makes up some diagnosis, cobbles some stuff together, and is always DYING. Or if something is actually wrong, she inflates it to EPIC PROPORTIONS. H also does this, not to her degree, but he does do it. He HATES the behavior in her, so it's interesting that he doesn't notice how he copies it. It's a clear attention grab.

[p123]

How on earth the medical profession deal with my Dad I'll never know....

I went away on holidays to Florida - I knew he'd try it on. I phoned him - he'd been ill he said and I was to worry. (Yeh right I worried for about 0 seconds because I've heard it all before). I was REALLY annoyed at that - he knew I was on holiday yet hes trying to cause drama to get attention.

Doctor had given anti-biotics. Bad idea. I hate it when they do this because, in his head, it validates it for him. Must have been ill they gave me anti-biotics. Of course, my Dad is such a nightmare to deal with I do wonder if they just give him something to shut him up.

His treatment of the District Nurse system is appalling he should be ashamed. (Visting Nurse in the USA I believe!). Anyway, in the UK its massively stretched (NHS is free of course) and pretty much unless you're house bound you really need to go to the surgery. My wifes a District Nurse (thankfully in a different area to my Dad).

He had the District Nurse once and thought "wow this is good I don;'t have to get off my backside". So he keeps requesting it. Even though he can get about. They've kicked him off the list about 4-5 times but he always finds a way to get back on.

He even has the cheek to phone them and say, "you need to be here before 10am because I like to go out". I try to explain, Dad my wife does this, they're mega busy they really can;t do requests like that. Also you're supposed to be bed bound so asking them to come early because you want to go out is crazy. Does he listen? Nope he milks it for all its worth. Disgraceful to be honest.

[Andeza]

It's extremely common.

That said, my undiagnosed, Borderline Personality Disordered Mom, constantly pulls the "woe is me I'm so sick" card, but never does a darn thing to fix her problems. Real or imagined. For her, the behavior is part of being the "waif" of the disorder. Of the four types, she exhibits the "waif" and "hermit" almost exclusively.

I also agree that it's only about attention seeking.

[11JB68]

My uOCPDh has some weird version of this. Has many physical complaints, yet refuses to see a Dr for anything. Insists on telling me about his symptoms and wants me to diagnose, treat, care for him etc, gets angry if I suggest going to a Dr. Many of the symptoms are real and quite concerning. He also claims chest pains, usually if we are arguing. Also his refusal to get real medical care impedes our ability to do things together/enjoy life, I see it as very selfish

[SparkStillLit]

This is *exactly* what H does! Reports concerning symptoms, many physical complaints, but will NOT go see a Dr! Sometimes says he's going to see one, but never does. And some symptoms are real, I see them, and some are not quantifiable, but described and paired with real ones are incredibly concerning! However, I am very noncommittal in my response to all this. If he won't go see a medical professional, there's nothing I can do.

[athene1399]

SO's BPDxw does this. She's called an ambulance a few times because she thought she was having a heart attack (she lives maybe 5 min from the hospital). One time she was just constipated. The other time they couldn't find anything wrong. They thought maybe her arthritis was affecting her breast bone joint. She self-diagnosis herself with a new disease frequently, then goes to the ER because she thinks she has it. If they tell her she doesn't, she goes to another ER. She does the same thing with doctors. She's had a few doctors tell her she doesn't have arthritis, so she keeps going to doctors until one says she does.

A lot of it is like Andeza says. She plays the waif card. Then complains when the doctors suggest she do x to feel better. "the doctor says if I lose weight I will feel better. He knows nothing about my pain!" It is very attention seeking behavior. She has to be the victim and always needs attention for something. Every doctor who wont' diagnose her with something is a quack. THen she's a victim becasue they won't help her. I think some of it was she was addicted to pain pills. She would go to different ERs and doctors to get pain meds. They just stopped giving them to her last year. Sometimes she just wants to be diagnosed with a disease. She loves posting about all her diseases on FB. I'd be surprised if she really has two of them. A lot of times it's the same symptoms she complains of, but picks a new disease that fits. She loves doctors and hospitals. She'll post pics on FB of herself in the hospital bed, waiting on test results.

[blacksheep7]

My fil is the same.  For the last 8 years it's been one medical condition or another.  He has High Anxiety, not much of a talker, like my dh....that's psychological poison. His wife has ended up going to the hospital in the night......panic attacks, the same thing over and over.   Such a load to carry. 

One x-mas ago fil didn't come to sil annuel party because he wasn't feeling strong enough.  After an hour, he called his wife because he couldn't get to his pills....so that was it for her.

He has had fears for decades.  Never sits at the table with us at meal time because he eats the same thing every single day, he's so skinny.  His supper is a cheese sandwich with a muffin and coffee at 5 pm.  Never goes beyond eating anything else like soup, fruit whatever, healthy homemade meals.....I'm not talking about pizza or fries.

Last week dh got a call from his sister saying they have to have a meeting because his wife can't take care of him no more, she's 85 herself. His knees have been hurting for a while, has been walking with a cane.  Now, he does not walk any more.

I remember him saying about 10 years ago that he did not want to go to a home....yikes
I don't know how this meeting will turn out for fil.

[p123]

Oh Dad goes to the doctor. Too much.

Im in the UK so healthcare is free. If he sneezes or coughs he calls the doctor. If its slightly worse he calls the emergency ambulance. There is NO COST and NO COMEBACK.

I wish he was in the USA. If it cost $5 he wouldnt call anyone if he was dying.

[blacksheep7]

I'm in Canada so it's free here too, the Medicare card.

[p123]

I'm in Canada so it's free here too, the Medicare card.

Didn't know Canada had free healthcare. Is it awful like the NHS in the UK?

[Swarley]

Absolutely common. Complain, complain, complain. Vague symptoms, dramatic pains that prevent them from doing this that or the other (which means someone else ought to do it for them). Avoiding the doctor; finally going to the doctor but them disregarding everything they're told because the doctor is wrong/ incompetent/not really listening/ doesn't care. And naturally, no matter your own situation....they are suffering more than you.

[Andeza]

Ooh, swarley, sounds like you've met my mom!

In the US the average ambulance ride will run you $500 that insurance may or may not (usually not) cover. At least in my experience, lol.

But yes, they suffer with everything, a sneeze means "OMG I'm gonna die!" and yet they won't follow doctor's orders. Go figure.   

[Whiteheron]

My stbx is a weird mix. He constantly complains of some ailment or another. Has self-diagnosed with prostatitis, MS, random other neurodegerative diseases, RA, to name a few. He panics, does his research to convince himself he will be incapacitated in X amount of time. Plans for doomsday. Makes doc appts, gets referred to specialists, has his blood work, his scans (which show nothing) and nothing...which means his case is so unique and rare the professionals just can't figure it out. 

On the other hand, when there is a serious problem, he does nothing. One of the unnecessary procedures he had caused some redness and swelling in the area (infection). He said nothing until the area was angry red, swollen and very warm to the touch. When he finally showed me, about a week later, I told him it was obviously infected and that he should make an appt asap. He had such a look of glee in his eye, and kept staring at the spot. Debating whether or not to call. He told me the spot had grown larger over the last few days. But he just stood there staring at it. It was so very weird. He admired it for so long that I finally asked him if he was going to stare at the spot all day or was he actually going to call the doc? He finally did call and was so overjoyed at the reaction he got from them - lots of attention for his (now) very serious infection. He had multiple follow appointments (huge supply) after that to ensure the infection was going away and that he was healing properly.

I was almost as if he needed something to be wrong with him, but when there actually was something wrong he couldn't believe it - as in it was too good to be true? Which may sound a bit harsh and judgy, but it's hard to explain. You had to see it to believe it. So very weird.

[blacksheep7]

P123 quote:  Is it awful like the NHS in the UK?

I don't know what NHS means. 

First off, many elderly people visit the hospital much too often, abuse the system. All I can say is, it not what it used to be. Technology is better but we pay the price.  Many  don't have a family doctor, I'm talking in my province in Eastern Canada. I watched dd try to get a doctor's appointment the same day when her toddlers were sick without going to the hospital to wait for hours on end , oh my so complicated.   Sometimes you have to pay or go private.  If you have insurance, it's better and quicker.  I don't think it is a fair system since private care has escalated in the past decade.  Those who don't have insurance  are on a long waiting list for operations, it shouldn't be this way for the less fortunate.  My dh has insurance but it breaks my heart when I see cases of those on the news  who don't.

[p123]

Ooh, swarley, sounds like you've met my mom!

In the US the average ambulance ride will run you $500 that insurance may or may not (usually not) cover. At least in my experience, lol.

But yes, they suffer with everything, a sneeze means "OMG I'm gonna die!" and yet they won't follow doctor's orders. Go figure.   

If it was $5 Dad wouldnt call one unless he was really dying!

Free in the UK which is bad for Dad....

[p123]

P123 quote:  Is it awful like the NHS in the UK?

I don't know what NHS means. 

First off, many elderly people visit the hospital much too often, abuse the system. All I can say is, it not what it used to be. Technology is better but we pay the price.  Many  don't have a family doctor, I'm talking in my province in Eastern Canada. I watched dd try to get a doctor's appointment the same day when her toddlers were sick without going to the hospital to wait for hours on end , oh my so complicated.   Sometimes you have to pay or go private.  If you have insurance, it's better and quicker.  I don't think it is a fair system since private care has escalated in the past decade.  Those who don't have insurance  are on a long waiting list for operations, it shouldn't be this way for the less fortunate.  My dh has insurance but it breaks my heart when I see cases of those on the news  who don't.

Sorry sheepie - National Health Service. Its the free healthcare in the UK.

Same here. Can't get GP appt. MAssive wait times for A&E. MAssive waiting lists for operations etc. Private insurance isnt that common. Its not cheap. I have it but not a lot of people do to be honest - mine costs £100/month.

[11JB68]

Wow p. In us, ours is probably 3x that amount

[p123]

Wow p. In us, ours is probably 3x that amount

private health insurance? Yeh this is a "limited" one with £100 excess. GP visits and prescripitons (in wales not england where its £9 per item) are still free.

Generally people dont pay it. NHS provides care so private is like a top up if you dont want to wait months. If you're dying the NHS will look after you.

[tommom]

Oh yes! And my PDh is the same, whiteheron. He moans and carries on if he is constipated or something minor. Fell down day before yesterday, still limping like he broke his leg. Major, MAJOR drama. However, he is in remission from leukemia. When it hit, he lost 60 pounds in about  3 months, turned as white as a piece of paper and could barely walk up stairs he was so fatigued. He REFUSED to accept it. I was very obvious to anyone that something terrible was wrong. including his doctor, who, when he finally laid eyes on him - now we are talking his GP here- was able to diagnose the type of leukemia he had, it was so obvious. I mean just LOOKING at him. And not the only time that happened. He once broke his ANKLE and refused for TWO DAYS to go to the ER or anything. He finally accepted something was wrong after FORTY-EIGHT HOURS of not being able to walk and went to the doctor (same one, what MUST he think), denying the entire time anything (including his massively swollen, literally black ankle) was wrong.

Attention, yep, and, for the leuk and broken ankle, just plain old denial. Of course, what that tells me is that he knows he is just acting out. When its real, he just ignores it.