Food for thought

[Danden]

Hello all,  I am new posting to this area of the forum.  But I was looking through my old computer files and I came across these notes from a book I read a long time ago.  I think these are all helpful things to consider on our healing journeys.

Notes from Children of Trauma by Jane Middleton-Moz

The effects of regular, unresolved trauma on a child include:

•   Internalization of cultural self-hate; conviction of being unlovable
•   A sense of shame that can turn into self-hate and intense isolation
•   Child has experience with trauma; massive defenses are established early
•   Less sensitivity to emotional neglect and abuse
•   Less basic trust in the idea that the world is physically and emotionally safe and continuous
•   Less capacity for autonomous initiative and assertion
•   Less capacity to limit, minimize and soothe painful emotions
•   Less capacity to express the self fully in close relationships
•   The belief that one is "different" therefore inferior
•   Forfeiture of the true self to conform to an image acceptable to others; these persons may wait for worldly rewards to fill an empty place inside themselves
•   The child feels that her own pain and needs are undeserved, selfish and meaningless
•   Guilt for feeling happy or successful
•   Self-protective isolation
•   Apathy, low levels of aspiration, and a low sense of self-worth
•   Inability to see when change is possible; depression, anxiety
•   A feeling of "just feeling numb" all their lives
•   Focus on parental behavior rather than the child's own developing language and curiosity
•   Child assumes a protective role reversal with parents and has a sense that nothing will ever make a difference