Please recommend a book to me :)

[Fiasco]

I want to read about how to develop the emotional self regulation I never learned as a child. Started as the only person in the house with BPDm and her draaaaaaama and screaming and panicking, and progressed to an adult with a drinking problem. I feel like a house with faulty wiring, signals get mixed up and anxiety seems to come out of nowhere. I'm trying to model appropriate self regulation to my daughter (I've quit alcohol which obviously helped) but I just don't have the tools. Help please.

[Hattie]

Something on mindfulness based stress reduction by Jon Kabat-Zinn? Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach. Or some kind of DBT workbook?

[Ajitakaput]

"develop self regulation"

You already win a battle by asking the right question.

Interestingly, All the recommendations given you so far are derivative of the Buddha, including DBT. I agree, and encourage exploration of ALL aspects pertaining to his subject; the training of the mind.

Not generally forthcoming in the derivative works regarding this training - is a foundational emphasis on ethics, traditionally introduced as "The Five Precepts."

Yo

Fiasco has made the enormously beneficial step to eliminate intoxication. That happens to be precept #4. Having the internal confidence that comes from keeping the others, will be of great benefit as well.

They may appear simplistic moralism or ethical imperatives, but the meaning and purpose go deeper. These are not commandments, but training wheels, respectful of the vast power we begin to tame.

For example, a full explication of the fourth buddhist precept "I will observe the training to avoid lies" might be more fully glimpsed in The Four Agreements challenge to "Be impeccable with your word."

Of course, Don Miguel Ruiz is not a Buddhist, but, no matter... I'm not religious. I'm a scientist who believes "All truth is God's truth." 

BTW: You are experiencing "emotional flashbacks." Please read Pete Walker as well as Buddhist source material.

And breathe.

[notrightinthehead]

You might also want to check out the daily practice from the childhood fairy on YouTube
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=lgNcleF-sDk

[Rebel13]

I started with the articles on Pete Walker's website and progressed to his book which has been really helpful for me.  I have looked at some of Crappy Childhood Fairy's material and she makes me nervous but a lot of people like her a lot.  I really like Heidi Priebe's videos on CPTSD and related topics.  Have watched some of Dr Ramani's youTube videos; lots of people like and recommend her as well.  I found the guide "How to Stop an Emotional Flashback" from Richard Grannon very useful.  If you can't find it on his site, let me know and I can send you a copy. I'm not linking to anything just because I don't know what the rules are about that for this forum, but I'm glad to provide more info to anyone.