It's just unreal!

[Lilyloo]

I had not been to my mothers in 6 months. Husband and I made our usual 6 month stop to give her a bushel of apples. We own a fruit market so I do give her those in November each year. It was the usual non stop talk about golden child brother, his two sons and her woes and numerous health issues. I felt my foot tapping under the kitchen table as I felt the old anger coming. I did control it and acted very low key, letting my husband talk. 

I knew her one grand son had bought the home mother is in now. It's truly just a dump and he will tear it down and rebuild. She can live there until senior housing becomes available, which will take awhile. She can't have any savings, basically own nothing to get this type of housing.

She is giving out money nothing big, small amounts, i guess to rid her savings account.  I refused it but the other siblings are taking it just to keep her quiet as she has not stopped fussing at all of us about it.  They are putting it in savings in case she needs it later. She is so irresponsible with money. I will not use it as I feel 100%  it will be used against me at some point.  Into a CD it goes and will be given back if she so much as says one word or if they blow what money they have. That way it will be there for them.

When I left she handed me a card with money for my daughter. She said she had already given her other two grandsons money. Not one word was said about my son.    He has been treated like he does not exist, while Golden sons children are also Golden!! Right away I spoke up saying what about Matt?  (fake name)  for my son.  She got very shocked looking. Oh Oh she says in a weird way

I am sick sick of the favoritism, it's gone on with my brothers for years!!  Now she's picking what grand kids get things! I will no longer accept this behavior. I am still fuming but for my own health sake I will calm down

She also told me I am not normal because I drink 'black coffee'   Looked right at me and said "you are not normal" 

Thank you for hearing my vent. I have no clue if it makes sense.

[Andeza]

Makes total sense to me. I'm sorry you went through that, sounds awful. How absurd to pretend that your son doesn't exist, and refuse to give him anything. Playing favorites like that is not cool. I would be rather... irritated, to put it mildly.

[moglow]

For future use:  A steely glare followed by "None of this is normal. Mother." Exit stage right.

[practical]

Makes sense sadly enough. Good for you for speaking up for your son! It is frustrating to see it all go around and around without change, even if we rationally know it won't change.

She also told me I am not normal because I drink 'black coffee'   Looked right at me and said "you are not normal" 

Well, you are not alone 

[Fortuna]

For future use:  A steely glare followed by "None of this is normal. Mother." Exit stage right.

Excuse me while I laugh so hard black coffee comes out my nose.

[P&K]

For future use:  A steely glare followed by "None of this is normal. Mother." Exit stage right.

Hugs to you my friend. It's hard!

[moglow]

[bows to the audience] A bit of black humor has served me more often than not.

Let's remember that during the course of mother's most recent text barrage, she wrote "Are you really that dense??" in response to my refusal to take the bait and/or engage in [read: apologize profusely for] her pity party. I repeated that line to my sister, whose eyebrows shot up into her hairline and eyes bugged while she took a very deep breath. Apparently I'm not the only one who took offense to it. I'm over the insults, whether delivered by mine or anyone else's. And then they wonder why we withdraw ...

[nanotech]

For future use:  A steely glare followed by "None of this is normal. Mother." Exit stage right.

Excuse me while I laugh so hard black coffee comes out my nose.

Priceless! 🤩

[nanotech]

It's so awful when they play favourites as if it's nothing, and then can't cope when you point it out to them!
You're not supposed to!
One of the many unwritten rules, don't question the c**p. 

[Lilyloo]

Thanks so much everyone!  Oh how I wish I had the nerve to say "None of this is normal, Mother" I have so much to say that stays inside and eats away at me.

I did say (and take no offense all of you who use cream in your coffee)  and only because it was the thing that popped into my head to come back with "I think you're not normal because you drink more cream than coffee"  I was shocked I said it but a lifetime of her jabs has changed me. Once she called me "a different breed" because I hate hunting. So many words that stay in my head. So many nasty comments from her.

I could care less what anyone drinks or puts in their drinks, I mean who actually bashes someone for drinking their coffee black.  It goes back to her nit-picking at me. She tries to make me look flawed no matter what I do. 

Yesterday was a bad day. My best friend came to see me because in my earlier call to her she sensed  I was not doing well. It's great to have her in my life. Most people brush me off. I think they see me as the crazy one.

I know I must not visit  mother at all.  It hurts even if it's only every six months. I want most in my life peace, just some peace of mind.

Bless each one of you. We all have the same painful experiences with our mothers. I so appreciate your great replies