Dad and unwillingness to spend money to help himself -hearing aid

[nanotech]

My father used to think me taking him to the doctor was some sort of treat for me.

Same here!
UNPDDAD;
'What are you doing for your 60th birthday Nano?'
ME; 'Not sure yet Dad.'
UNPDDAD; ( jolly happy voice) ' I KNOW what you'll be doing! You'll be driving me to (another city 20 miles away) for my consultant appointment! It's a great way for you to spend your special day! '
Erm....... no
I don't even live in his town. It would have been an 106 mile round trip for me.   
Do they not even think?
I went out for a lovely meal instead! With FOC, in other words, Without any PDs

[lkdrymom]

My father used to think me taking him to the doctor was some sort of treat for me.

Same here!
UNPDDAD;
'What are you doing for your 60th birthday Nano?'
ME; 'Not sure yet Dad.'
UNPDDAD; ( jolly happy voice) ' I KNOW what you'll be doing! You'll be driving me to (another city 20 miles away) for my consultant appointment! It's a great way for you to spend your special day! '
Erm....... no
I don't even live in his town. It would have been an 106 mile round trip for me.   
Do they not even think?
I went out for a lovely meal instead! With FOC, in other words, Without any PDs

No they don't think about the big picture.  My mother was a very reasonable and considerate person but one time she asked for something that was too much and was made I didn't comply. My cousin was having his 25th wedding annversary and we were invited.  The distance and the day and time just didn't work for me and my mother was so upset I couldn't find a way to make it work.  It was on a Sunday afternoon.  I had to pick up my kids from my ex at 6 pm in a location that was 3 hours from where the anniversary party was.  The party was mid afternoon.  My mother wanted me to ask my ex if I could pick them up later. SOunded reasonable to her but to me this is what I saw:

Drive 30 minutes to pick up parents.
Drive nearly 2 hours to party which required me to drive through parts of NYC.  This is the reason my father wouldn't drive them as he can't handle city driving.  Well I don't like it either.
In order to get to pick up the kids on time we'd be there 1 hour before having to leave, drive two hours to drop them off then another hour to ex's to pick up kids then 30 minutes to my home.  I did not see 6 hours of driving worth 1 hour of a party.   Picking up the kids later would not be fun.   It would require asking ex for a favor.  We would get home at bed time and it would be a lot of work getting the kids to go right down.
My mother just couldn't understand why I didn't want to spend my day doing this.

[p123]

My father used to think me taking him to the doctor was some sort of treat for me.

Same here!
UNPDDAD;
'What are you doing for your 60th birthday Nano?'
ME; 'Not sure yet Dad.'
UNPDDAD; ( jolly happy voice) ' I KNOW what you'll be doing! You'll be driving me to (another city 20 miles away) for my consultant appointment! It's a great way for you to spend your special day! '
Erm....... no
I don't even live in his town. It would have been an 106 mile round trip for me.   
Do they not even think?
I went out for a lovely meal instead! With FOC, in other words, Without any PDs

Its just nuts isnt it? How they expect you to do it.

Dad lives a good 25+ miles from me so its an hours round trip minimum. Many times hes said "it gets me out of the house for some fresh air". Great!

Same as you, he has appointments. He thinks its ok to expect me to drive to him, then 25 mins more to the hospital then repeat return journey. Just because "he doesnt like "patient transport and wont pay for a taxi.

[p123]

Give me strength for todays visit....

Its started already. "You'll HAVE to visit tonight I've got no food at all". Despite you telling me 5 mins earlier that brother had taken you out in the car 2 days previously and your cousin took you shopping two days before that. In other words, hes manufactured the situation AGAIN to make me visit just in case I was thinking of bailing. I'm sure he thinks I've got the IQ of a carrot!

Worse still - hes pulled a muscle. "I can't walk, can't walk to the kitchen, or the bathroom, can't sleep". My only question - "So are you taking the proper dose of painkillers that the doctor has recommended with you being in pain and all?" Silence. In other words NO - still taking half dose because "I don't want to get addicted like people on TV".
Whine...... "What am I going to do??????????????????????????"
ME - Dad Im not willing to give you a medical opinion, since those of us who work in IT dont really qualify as such. How about, you speak to your doctor or better still do as they day in the first place?"

"Oh ok if you're going to be like that I'll have to manage then".

Give me strength!!!!

[moglow]

Oh for the love of ... md pulls the excruciating pain card too. A lot. I dont doubt she's in pain, and I heard about it every phone call and in response to every tantrum for years. Mad? Pain. Sad? Pain. Upset? Pain. Can't go? Pain. Can't sleep? Pain. What does the doctor say? Can't do surgery because of my age and heart issues. He did this or that treatment,  nothing helps. Odd that one treatment would fix decades of damage, what did he say when you went back? Didn't go back. Prescribed meds, don't want to be addicted ... md. You're 8o something now. If the meds actually help, take them. But PAIN!!


I'm sorry. I felt that one all the way to my knees!!

[p123]

Oh for the love of ... md pulls the excruciating pain card too. A lot. I dont doubt she's in pain, and I heard about it every phone call and in response to every tantrum for years. Mad? Pain. Sad? Pain. Upset? Pain. Can't go? Pain. Can't sleep? Pain. What does the doctor say? Can't do surgery because of my age and heart issues. He did this or that treatment,  nothing helps. Odd that one treatment would fix decades of damage, what did he say when you went back? Didn't go back. Prescribed meds, don't want to be addicted ... md. You're 8o something now. If the meds actually help, take them. But PAIN!!


I'm sorry. I felt that one all the way to my knees!!

Yep went totally as expected.

"So are you taking the meds the doctor gave you?"
"No I don't like taking them because it binds me up" (A known thing apparently with co-codamol)
"Didnt the doctor give you something for that?"
"Yes but I don't like taking that"

{Throws hands up in the air}

My guess is its not actually that bad. It was holiday weekend just gone and hes always worse. Grills me what I did over the weekend. Got to make sure I dont give much away - if he sees a chink his attitude is "why didnt you come to see me?"