NPD Mom is Trying It Again

[LoverofPeace]

So, my NPD mother tried to go there...again. Would like for you guys to weigh in on this.

I was home trying to get some work done during this whole crisis, and the phone rings. On the phone was my mother's doctor (probably has more than one) whom I never heard of. Wouldn't have answered the phone, but I was thinking since I am currently in transition between jobs, as well as still having school work deadlines, and my contacts for these things are not necessarily on their regular work phones, I did something I don't usually if I don't recognize the number: I picked up! 
 
There, on the other end, was her doctor who launched right into getting her set up with their telemedicine service so she didn't have to travel and have physical contact; she doesn't know the technology they have, told me the name of it, etc. For a few reasons, I was wondering why were they contacting me? One reasons I already knew about: because I am a technology major (kind of, more like a major that includes technology) that my mother is always asking me about (whenever I do speak with her); so that part wasn't hard to figure out, that before she was gathering information about my schooling so she could (try to) use it one day. I could even tell when speaking in the past--you know how they ask, but instead of feeling genuine, it's more that they are storing information for later use.
But the other thing is that in the days I was still blind to NPD and was trying to help her with doctor appointments, she stubbornly refused to give me any of her doctor's information. If I got any, it was because she was out of commission due to having an operation and I ended up talking to them-- temporarily, until she got well again and then be on my way (no problem, I became fine with that). 

So, even though this virus crisis is going on and I am glad she is getting telemedicine, this call was annoying, to say the least. I know I sounded pretty harsh to this doctor when I said I never heard of their software either, that she is computer savvy (enough) and to just talk her through it. Surprisingly, he didn't give me a hard time (thought that was coming next) and said thank you. I said I wished them all the best and said good-bye. Then I added his name to the phone number that came through. You're probably thinking I was looking to finally keep this doctor contact I was looking for in the past. Nope! I was doing just the opposite; so I could know which number to avoid, should they try to call again. 

Also, while I do know about telemedicine, it is true that I don't know their particular software system, don't even live with her (how am I going to do that away from her computer?), and still have work to do, even though a lot of us are working from home. Heck, I am even more busy than ever, due to this being something different we're all dealing with, while she just sits at home. And anyway, if I knew everyone's software systems, I wouldn't be going to school for it; I'd be busy looking to make millions like one of my idols, Mr. Bill Gates!   

And don't even get me to mentioning how my mother just recently violated me through a text and call. 

So, I am now wondering how does my response to the doctor sound? Too cold during these times? Or, on point? I think she has me on file as an emergency contact, and told them to contact me because I know computers and to 'make' me feel I would be obligated because it was a doctor calling. But she sees that didn't work. And I don't know if she succeeded in getting the telemedicine, so I feel a bit off about it. But I will say this call came last Friday and it's been nice and quiet (thank you, God!). 

Thanks for any input. Hope everyone is doing peaceful and well themselves!  (trying to back away from the fog).

P.S. On top of that, my grandmother (believe she is either a passive NPD'er, or is a flying monkey) didn't answer my calls last week when I looked to check up on her; so I stopped calling. I am thinking she is trying to hoover me (and did she and my mother conveniently forget I work for the public and cannot have physical contact, especially with a senior?), because if something happened to her, you can trust that my mother would have let me know to show how such an uncaring person I am. Also, being my (malignant) NPD sister is her power of attorney, I definitely cannot mix with her. So just trying to leave it all be in order to have my sanity!

[Spring Butterfly]

Totally appropriate.

1. you have to way to really verify this person is who they claim. Could be a scam. Maybe not, who knows.

2. not your decision to make

3. not your job to install software on someone else's computer

If your mother wants telemedicine it's her responsibility to agree, sign papers / release forms  /  EULA and they are responsible for install and maintenance.

[treesgrowslowly]

Yeah I agree with Spring Butterfly. I dont think doctors are allowed to do that so I'm suspicious.

In any case I would not give them information or agree to help with someone else's telehealth. The liability issues here are huge - doesnt seem like any sort of practice I've ever heard of. I can't even book my other family members Drs appt for them they have to do it.

so I would block the number. Assume your number is on the scammer dial list, as happens to all of us from time to time nowadays.

None of this really adds up and I am glad you didn't agree to anything.

How could a business or office possibly ever ensure that a family member will follow up accurately with the patient? How do they know what relationship you have? This all seems very fishy.

I sure wish scammers didn't have our cell phone numbers but they do.

You're not oligated to be nice to people who ring in the middle of the day asking for things. Short and curt is perfectly fine for any stranger, at the door or on the phone. You don't know who the person is. It's not rude to be "short and sweet" with people who are asking you for something.

Trees

[LoverofPeace]

Hello Spring and Trees,

Wow, that didn't even occur to me that this could be scammers! 

I think that went over my head because my mother pulling something like this on me to dutifully take care of this for her sounds just like her. This still may be the case, because I had remembered her recently telling me that she was "good" during this crisis, but she has to travel to the doctor. It sounded like it had a hidden meaning, knowing her, for me to do something about it. And shortly before that, her explosive text to me because I didn't answer her about "how are you doing" during the virus. I was being NC at the time.

It could either go that way with her trying to control me again, or the scammers trying to be slick. I do recall, now that you ladies mentioned it, hearing that scammers were pulling  stuff like this with this epidemic (as everything else). This is a good reminder for us to keep aware of what's lurking out here. So, this information is greatly appreciated. Yes, glad I didn't offer anything and that should not be a doctor office's protocol. But haven't posters been saying they have been expecting family to do things out of guilt tripping? They did try some stuff on me in the past, though not as intrusive as this.

I will know for sure the next time I talk to my mother (hopefully no time soon). If it's coming from her, she will be sure to let me know!

Either way, I was being scammed!  Thank you, I feel much better about it.