Batsh#t 21...."I have changed so much"....

[doglady]

Hey Spygirl
That's wonderful to hear that your problems are nearly resolved. There is so much support on this site. (I mainly lurk but have posted a few things. Just reading others' stories and strategies is so validating.)

When you say it's a shame it took half your life, I definitely hear you on that and I also think, isn't it great though that it didn't take your whole life? Sounds like you've got a great second half to look forward to with lots of wisdom gained. Best to you.

[athene1399]

Here's a good example of black and white thinking:

BPD: Everyone at my new job is great. My co-workers go out of their way to sit with me and explain how to do x. They are spending so much time with me teaching me the ropes. I am so grateful.

A month later...

BPD: My supervisor is an @sshole. She expects me to do x. No one showed me how to do that. No one is taking the time to train me. They cannot expect me to know how to do x! I emailed my supervisor to let her know how terrible she and everyone there is.

Believe it or not, PD looses job after said email...

[Cascade]

My husband was in one room while I was in another, and all of a sudden my husband stood up and ran, like actually ran to the room I was in to see what I was doing. 

[Andeza]

For background, we have recently had a baby and she hasn't met him yet.

uBPDM: I can't wait to fly out and meet the baby!

(insert part where I tell her she can't kiss him because she has a communicable virus that is known for killing babies)

uBPDM: I will wait until summer or later to visit. I will feel better about it.

^ Note excessive use of "I" Also when she said this in my head I was saying "Yeah you still ain't smooching on him."

[Empie2204]

UPDh feeling the urge to release his "valves" comes to room when I was doing the ironing. Mind you, it´s hot enough: iron, outside temperature and then him...

Him: You remained pregnant with our daughter without letting me know  for the whole month!   
         (it was 23 years ago!)
Me:   Yes, when I didn´t get my period. Could I do it earlier?
Him: How come you got pregnant when we used protection!     
Me:   Let me remind you, we agreed upon  not using any kind of birth control.       
Him: You got pregnant because you wanted to throw my mother out of the house to get a room for our D. 
Me:   Your mother moved to our house without me telling a word.  She herself wanted to move out later.  Besides, we made the attic
          into rooms.   
Him: Well, I was just assuming.
Me: (furious)
* He´s lucky for not getting the hot iron onto his head!

         

[Cascade]

Wow, 23 years later and he's still dredging things up to get riled up about! That's crazy all right.

[Empie2204]

And making his own wild construct.
 

[GentleSoul]

Wow, 23 years later and he's still dredging things up to get riled up about! That's crazy all right.

Wow, my uPD husband dredged up something I did 9 years ago to use against me.  I thought that was bad enough but I see he is a mere amateur compared to 23 years old stuff.   

[Empie2204]

It seems I got the winner...

[Cascade]

My husband is trying to lose weight, so he skipped supper.  I knew where this would lead and sure enough, an hour later he is eating a big amount of something unhealthy. 

[Stillirise]

It seems I got the winner...

Yes, but I may be the runner up! UPDh came into my home office this evening, where I was still working, upset that I haven't been showing him enough affection lately. (I've been living in MC.  I'm "unloving and cold," and he's unhinged over it.) He then proceeded to bring up something I said back in 1999, and also something my now-deceased dad supposedly said about my mom in 2001, to go along with his point—about me not kissing him this morning. 

[Empie2204]

Stillrise@

I see your h is history lover too. I think they all are.
You can guess that I actually didn't plan to take part in this contest ... but the idea is so alluring.

[jenny wren]

My now ex informing me over the phone  in the most tragic voice she could muster, that she was seeing someone else:

''I know you love me but unfortunately someone else needed some of my love too...''

[PatriciaBateman]

My husband is a recovering alcoholic.  Last May, after four years of sobriety, he relapsed at a backyard barbecue at some friends' house.  (He was extremely remorseful and hasn't relapsed since) He was supposed to pick up our NPD daughter from work that night, so when I realized he was drunk, it was up to me to drive her.  He came with me.  Once she was in the car, he explained to her that the reason I was driving was because he slipped up and got drunk. 

An hour later, a guy that my husband used to sponsor in AA texted him and said "A little birdie told me that I should check up on you.  Is everything ok?"

He asked if I had told anyone.  Of course not!  The only other person in the entire world that knew of his relapse was NPD daughter.  It turns out that she went to high school with this man's daughter, and his daughter found out my husband had relapsed... on SNAPCHAT. 

The next day, I confronted her.

Me:  Did you post on social media that dad relapsed? 
Her:  No. 
Me:  Are you sure?  Because [the gentleman] contacted Dad, and the only other person that knew about it was me and you. 
Her:  I posted a video of MYSELF crying on Snapchat, that's all. 
Me:  Well, [the gentleman]'s daughter goes to your school, and she saw it on Snapchat and informed her Dad.
Her:  That's not my fault.
Me:  How is that not your fault?  You're the person who disclosed an incredibly private family issue.
Her:  That b*tch should have kept her stupid mouth shut.

No apology.  No ownership.  It was simply not her fault.  She didn't even recognize the extreme irony in her statement about the girl keeping her mouth shut. 

[GentleSoul]

To carry on the alcoholics theme.

My uPD alcoholic husband made a drum roll announcement today that he was going to stop drinking.  I might have given it more credibility had he not been chugging down a large brandy with his breakfast at the time!

[D.Dan]

So this just happened,

uPDmom: how many days do you have to watch someone's house before you know they moved out?

Me: you don't.

I should point out that it was about one of my neighbours that neither of us knows or has anything to do with. She just hates that my neighbours dare to live in their homes and go out in their yards within her field of vision.

[bruceli]

Been away for a while, good to see this is still going..... Have been n/c with PD for 8 months out of the blue voice mail....

PD: Congratulations on your baby.

To my knowledge I have not had a baby, have no idea where she came up with this.

[bruceli]

PD: For the love of GOD,  you need to do some laundry!

4 hours later......

PD: Do you have any idea how many loads of laundry you've done? You're washing too much clothes!

[bruceli]

PD: I need to move by the 1st of the year!

Me: You're unemployed and have no money. How are you going to do that?

Going on my 24th hour of silent treatment.

[Whiteheron]

I have something similar...
stbx put into the mediation agreement that he will be moved out and his house will be listed on the first of the month. He also put in that "whiteheron will be responsible for 50% of the upkeep until the house is sold."   

He's already bought his new house. Old house isn't listed. He hasn't started packing. Month is almost over.

I'm filing this one under "not my problem."

Just an aside - he doesn't need to move, he used to walk around proclaiming he would "die in this house," so I'm not sure why he's determined to move. Since he's not being forced to move, not sure why he would suggest I need to be responsible for 50% of the upkeep, esp when he makes gobs of $$ and I'm barely scraping by.