The latest ocpd rule

[11JB68]

So I'm not supposed to add items to my Netflix list.
Wow.
And of course had to sit through a mini lecture about why.

[Jsinjin]

So wild how these come up.   I have an Amazon list that was found of stuff I thought was cool and wanted to keep track of.   I'm not supposed to have or add to that (called JSJ wish list) because Amazon tracks that and will use that information.   -for all kinds of things!    Its so weird once you realize that their behavior is not just surprising, it's a personality disorder and you can even predict it.

Watch out if you put a hold on a popular library book someone else checked out!!!

[11JB68]

'We' signed up for Netflix because he wanted it. For whatever reason it's alwaysmy job to look into these things, create the account etc. There are3users. He is in charge of the tv, remotes etc. Its s battle I've chosen not to fight because tv is not important to me and is very important to him. You would think he would set up his list under his user. No, he sets it up under mine.  He occasionally adds stuff to the list via the tv. Because it's MY account (@ least according to Netflix) I get the emails from them. Sometimes they send me an email: here's something you might like. Maybe 3-4 times I've thought yeah that looks good, maybe something we would watch together (I never watch tv alone, I'd rather be doing something else - but if our 'together' time - about 30 hours per week-means watching tv, I should be able to choose something occasionally). However, because of the way the menu shows on the tv, adding something throws off his routine in how he scrolls to find what he wants to watch...
Ugh.
Updh: why do you add stuff?
Me:because it's my account
(Yeah, not a good mc answer)
I had to quickly regain my mc, which had slipped due to an emotionally triggering issue earlier in the evening.

[athene1399]

I'd probably answer the same way and then ask if he wanted me to show him how to access his account. lol Not helpful, but sometimes it feels good just to say what's on your mind.

I think it's great you were able to regain your MC. I also think it's great you can pick and choose your battles. You know tv isn't a major thing for you, so chose not to argue. That probably didn't make sitting through the lecture any better though.

What do you think would happen if you took over his user and put your list there? Would he find out or does he only go into your user?

[11JB68]

Athens, thx.
I've learned the only path to peace is mc. Any jade he will jump on and it becomes a full blown circular argument.
I'd love to hear from some true ocd(vs ocpd) folks...I feel like a person with ocd would put his own stuff under his own user, and be ok with my stuff under mine. The pd needs to takeover my user and then make rules about it.
If I started putting stuff in his user and he noticed I think it would be a fight... 'Why do you need to...' Etc.

[athene1399]

Someone on another thread pointed out that those with OCD have their own rules, but the rules are for them only. They don't need others to follow their rules. Those with OCPD expect others to follow their rules and freak out when they do not. Those with OCPD expect others to do tasks in a certain way as well.

[11JB68]

 
Absolutely Athens, I think that is a key difference
Oh and the reason I'm the one who has to sign up for stuff like Netflix, I realize, is mostly because he doesn't want thehassle of getting the emails from them. (His time is so important I guess...and he's so easily annoyed, and can't tolerate annoyance)