Small steps almost a year out

[losingmyself]

Almost a year away from my X. No contact feels great! I'm getting better,  trying to spread my wings a little.  Very much enjoying my first spring alone!
I reached out to an old friend who happens to be my X's first wife! We were best friends,  and I missed her terribly.  We have reconnected and we're enjoying our rekindled friendship.  I am so happy to have her in my life again!
She did say something the other day that I guess only someone close to me could see. She said that she knows that I'm healing,  but I am different than I used to be. More reserved,  more quiet, not as bubbly. I guess I hadn't considered it, thinking I was doing well. She said she knows it'll take a while, but he changed me. I have some more work to do, or maybe I'm just going to be different.  Time will tell.
But I love the peace, even if it comes with a bit of loneliness.
Can't wait to plant flowers!!
Happy spring, friends!!

[notrightinthehead]

Of course you are different. You have had experiences that forced you to learn something about others and yourself that changed you. You are not the person who ignored the red flags and walked into your PD experience. ( Hopefully)

May I be curious? If your best friend was your ex's previous partner, did you not know that he was a difficult person?

[losingmyself]

Not Right, I don't know,  honestly.  If I did, I ignored it. She said she told me, but I don't remember.  If she didn't,  or I thought he'd be different with me, or if I thought I could change him, I can't tell you.
I do know that he lied to me from the jump and I believed him. I feel like a fool.

[notrightinthehead]

I guess he knows how to find kind and empathetic women.
Fortunately you and your friend are no longer under his spell.