Good grief, do we get to a point we become so aware of PD behavior that we see it everywhere, or do we start to over-react at small infractions?
I was taking a walk early this morning. The sun was rising and all was peaceful. Then, I see one house where a young teenage girl was running in and out hastily putting soccer equipment in the back of an SUV. The back lift-gate was open and she was standing behind the vehicle arranging soccer balls inside the trunk. Suddenly the vehicle lurched back in reverse while the girl was still standing there. I thought the vehicle might have slipped out of gear. The girl leapt backward and caught herself before falling, but yelled out to the driver "OMG, I am still standing here." What parent puts their car in reverse when their child is standing directly behind it???
I heard someone yelling from inside the vehicle for her to just get in the car. The girl explained that the truck was still open, but the person inside screamed back at her to get inside. So, the girl ran around the vehicle and got into the passenger seat.
I stood on the sidewalk in disbelief. The SUV backed up down the driveway with the trunk wide open. It stopped at the end of the driveway and the girl's mother got out of the driver's seat and closed the trunk. As she pulled the vehicle into the street to drive off, she looked over at me and rolled her window down and said "What's your problem?" I answered "You almost ran your kid over. I just saw it." She rolled her eyes and sped off down the street barely hesitating at a stop sign.
So, my summary is that this mother had uncontrolled anger so early in the morning while going off to her daughter's soccer game. I wonder what the heck else is going on in that house. I wonder if that daughter will ever remember that incident or her mother having been called out. I hope they are alright, or maybe that was just a bad day for them.
I find it very disturbing to watch scenes like that. Also when mothers let their babies scream and scream without picking them up. Sometimes I say something like you did.
Yeah, you really really start wondering... A couple years ago a neighbor a few doors down went into a public meltdown in the middle of the street while taking his son out trick-or-treating. The son, who was pre-school at the time and thus pretty young, apparently picked up another neighbor's decorations and that's what set the dad off. He was yelling loud enough for me to hear every word, and he knew I was out there giving out candy (as many in the neighborhood were). Normally he's mister all-smiles and very nice and friendly but this was a face I'd never before seen and I've never forgotten it. So now whenever he's being Mr. Friendly Neighbor I remember the time he went off the rails over something so trivial and I wonder what's really going on in that house.
No person in their right mind would do that, would take that risk. Who's confident in gauging how much gas is too much gas when lurching a vehicle at their child? What if she had been right behind the tire? That shoes blatant disregard for her child's safety, and reckless endangerment. Uncontrolled rage indeed. I find this very upsetting since I know of at least 3 children who have died when their parents accidentally reversed over them.
There's a man a few houses down my street who can't control his rage around his children. One day during lock down he screamed at one small child as loud as he could possibly scream - at the point where you can't really tell exactly how loud it is anymore. The child shrieked in terror. Neighbours across the street were coming out on their patios to look at them - terrible behaviour.
I'd recently read an article about an Indigenous People and how they teach their children to regulate their anger. The trick is - the parents regulate their own anger. It's considered childish to lose your temper, snap, or yell. Every now and then it crosses my mind to leave a copy in their mailbox.
Yeah, people who have so normalised the abuse of their children that they forget they're in public.
I saw a woman punch her daughter in the face on a train in London. Everyone was so shocked that we all sat there. They got off at the next stop. I wish I'd said something.
A woman I worked with once confronted a woman screaming profanities at her small children outside of a store. The woman got angry (well, like she wasn't already) and asked my co-worker what business it was of hers? The co-worker said, apparently you're making it my business because you're doing this in front of me! Of course, this was some years back and today you can't know how someone might respond...
I guess you can't know, but I'd still confront a person (have done) who was freaking out on their kids in public.
Poor kids.
Thanks everyone for sharing your own experiences. I feel bad for such kids because I wonder when a parent acts so poorly in public, what do they unleash when nobody is around. My one take away is how looks are so deceiving and parents work hard to look like "parent of the year" but in reality fail their kids and are just really bad parents.
Quote from: Blueberry Pancakes on July 24, 2020, 11:17:50 AM
I feel bad for such kids because I wonder when a parent acts so poorly in public, what do they unleash when nobody is around. My one take away is how looks are so deceiving and parents work hard to look like "parent of the year" but in reality fail their kids and are just really bad parents.
:yeahthat: :(
I'm glad some of you have said things to the parents. I think watching parental abuse triggers my freeze response, and very much puts me back into my child-like state of helplessness.
Quote from: blacksheep7 on July 25, 2020, 08:21:35 AM
Quote from: Blueberry Pancakes on July 24, 2020, 11:17:50 AM
I feel bad for such kids because I wonder when a parent acts so poorly in public, what do they unleash when nobody is around. My one take away is how looks are so deceiving and parents work hard to look like "parent of the year" but in reality fail their kids and are just really bad parents.
:yeahthat: :(
My mom used to say exactly that, Blueberry, when we witnessed other parents berating/smacking their kids in public (back in the day it was more common). Maybe she thought because my uNPDf did none of that in public, but was capable of much worse, that those parents likely did much worse as well. Honestly, it fed into my distorted understanding of my uNPDf's behaviour as "normal." He didn't do any of that in public - so what these parents did at home must be much worse than what he did, and what he did must be normal.
Looks
are deceiving - I have an instinctive distrust of anyone who's overly "nice" and "friendly" because of it. It always makes me wonder what they're trying to hide.
Quote from: Wilderhearts on July 25, 2020, 03:22:04 PM
Looks are deceiving - I have an instinctive distrust of anyone who's overly "nice" and "friendly" because of it. It always makes me wonder what they're trying to hide.
Wilderhearts - I do not trust anyone who is overly nice either, smiles too much, or is overly generous or eager before they even know me. I mostly think they are looking for my acceptance so I will tolerate their bad behavior later on.
Yeah. Like "I gave you my nice tokens and now I'm cashing in on my 'get out of jail free' card." Yup.
You should report her. Look up her address on your local property appraiser's website. Make note of the license plate and description of the car. There might be other reports about her and this one could be the one that causes some positive change for those kids.