Hello

[Mourning Dove]

Hi all,
I stumbled across this forum while trying to find guidance for my problem. I've read a ton of posts and am blown away by the similarities of the behaviors of those with PDs. My husband - I guess he's uNPDh? - has become increasingly dramatic over the last couple years, and added drinking to the mix. I haven't seen him in a couple days as he's staying at a hotel after an incident Tuesday night - I had asked him to please stay downstairs if he is going to be drinking.

Well, you'd think I'd just pummeled him into oblivion for how he reacted. Lots of nasty emails and texts, culminating in a trip to the gas station for more booze and telling me we needed to split up because I treat him like garbage. Sad to say this is not the first time he's done this. So I am seriously considering divorce now and have even starting working on the petition. My fear is our daughter - she's only 2. Oh, and I just found out I'm pregnant 

However, this news has only strengthened my resolve as I cannot fathom going through pregnancy and newborn stage with a toddler (actually that will be a comparative breeze), along with uNPDh acting out. Hell no.

Looking forward to meeting others here! 

[Penny Lane]

Hi and welcome! So glad you found us though I'm sorry to hear you have a tough road ahead.

It might help to peruse the toolbox to get some skills to ease this transition period. And the folks on the separating and divorcing board are a good resource - many have been through what you have as well.

Again, warm welcome and I look forward to hearing more on the boards.

[SerenityCat]

Welcome!

I'm glad that you are here. This community has lots of wisdom and compassion.

[bloomie]

Hi and welcome. I am really glad you found us and have joined the community. Please make good use of the tools and resources at the drop down menus above.

An additional resource that may be of great help to you is the work and communities for those who have a loved one who abuses alcohol found here: https://al-anon.org

There is great help in building a network of support for yourself as you make important decisions and changes going forward. How important to take very good care of yourself and your little ones and keep yourself safe. I trust you have family and friends close by who can support you all as you move forward as well.

Keep coming back and sharing! It really helps lighten a heavy load!

[Mourning Dove]

Thanks to everyone for the warm welcome! It's refreshing to feel understood and not so alone!

[Drawing_boundaries]

Hi Mourning Dove,
Good on you for reaching out here. Can't be easy with a little one requiring so much love and attention whilst you are dealing with you uNPD.

It wasn't until I was pregnant with my first child that I realised exactly how insane my family system was... I started putting up boundaries for my own physical & mental health and this sent the dysfunctional unit into meltdown mode. This triggered a series of escalating events including the biological father and his family. I was enmeshed in two dysfunctional families.... I am now entirely free from it all and have successfully protected my child from it. If I can do it so can you!

So proud of you for reaching out.