ACON survival skills showing up in pandemic

[Wilderhearts]

I've had a couple of realizations about how I'm dealing with the pandemic/stay home orders differently from everyone else around me seems to be coping, and I think it's all from growing up with an uNPDf.  He's been dead for over a decade, btw.  I'm not actually surviving him any more - mostly the CPTSD and the pandemic stress.

Uncertainty, disconnection, and fear were my childhood "normal."  I didn't think about the future, or about what a different existence could look like.  Everyone keeps talking about "after COVID" and "the new normal" but I've reverted back to only living in the present, not preparing for the future or hoping, just complete acceptance.  It may sound adaptive, and I know some friends are trying to worry less about the future, but it's more like the kind of "acceptance" that hostages show, because it keeps them alive.  It's just resignation.

The other thing clicked when I saw an edited Maslow's hierarchy of needs.  Somebody has circled the bottom  blocks of "physiological needs" and "safety needs" and written "we are here," and then written "we are not here" next to "self-actualization." 

The thing is, my self-actualization has become even more important now that I no longer have certainty or security - it's like my saving grace. I was in a high-demand, low-control position in a pandemic response which was so high-pressure and mind-numbing it was leaving me in distress.  Last week they put me in a new position where I can apply some of what I've witnessed, and the intellectual stimulation is motivating me to live.

I buried myself in schoolwork as a kid, my entire childhood.  I thought it was because it was an acceptable way of avoiding my family and abuse, because education was so highly valued.  But I guess it was feeding and sustaining me in a way my FOO relationships were not. 

I guess meeting our higher needs can be a way of compensating for more basic needs not being met, or is it?  Any body else seeing parallels in how they're coping with the pandemic and how they've coped with PD'd chaos?

[Laurie]

My DH and I are hoping to use the pandemic as a reason to avoid a visit from uNSil. 

We've been able to keep ourselves busy and distracted from focusing too much on the news by being interested in other things (cooking, watching museum tours in YouTube etc.).  I also have a moderately interesting job, and it does keep my mind occupied and away from watching too much news.

I also kept myself buried in schoolwork as a child.  I didn't think of it that way at the time, but it was a good distraction and outlet for me during my parents divorce and from dysfunctional people in my life at that time.

[Spygirl]

I am one of those needed job people, so i am not locked up. I do find that being home otherwise is comforting and relaxing. I have no desire to mingle anyway. Much more interaction with people is stressful and exhausting for me. I am a total introvert now i guess. I am also good with it.

[Call Me Cordelia]

Wilderhearts, this is a post I could have written. Thank you for articulating it so well. Yes I am living in the present moment. I do think it's adaptive in these circumstances. I'm throwing myself into house projects and doing stuff with my kids which is draining but I know they need my attention. I could reach out by phone to friends but I'm finding even that draining right now. DH works from home and is shut away in his home office most of the day. His company is laying people off so he's taken on additional responsibility in the hopes of job security. So I'm more on my own.  He's not a workaholic by nature at all but it's helpful to be able to DO something. I think that explains a great deal of my personality as a person who has always accomplished a huge amount. Overachieving has been one thing that has made me feel like I'm "okay" throughout my life.