Top three worse things PD parent has done to you?

[beloved underwing]

I've actually been thinking a lot about this... I've made a list not only of the worst things they've done, but also the best things. Like all relationships, my relationship with my parents is complicated, and not all horror and trauma. Unfortunately, over the past few years the negative has far outweighed the positive which has led me to the impossible place I am now. I'll start with the best (I'm sure you'll notice the common thread, which I honestly didn't realize until I made the list...)

1. My mom was there for the birth of my son, she was so supportive and it was a truly beautiful moment.
2. My dad handcrafted some beautiful items out of wood for my son.
3. My parents were instrumental in helping care for my son when he was a baby.

And the worst:
1. My mom said I was the "biggest disappointment as a daughter." after her most recent suicidal hospitalization because I didn't say exactly the right thing on the phone when she'd called me the night before. (also - not the first time she's shared this particular sentiment with me.)
2. My mom called me a "f@cking little c$nt" when I refused to allow her to see my son just weeks after she had a psychotic break which involved violence and police when she ran off into the woods with shards of broken glass that she had threatened herself and my dad with.
3. My mom overdosed on pills while we were sharing a hotel room in a city where my dad was having open heart surgery. I spent the next morning (alone) running between the ER (mom) and the cardiac ICU (dad).

Oof.

[DuckStar]

1. Alienated me from my dad in various ways and forced me to call him Thing for many years as a child. He has now passed away and the relationship could never be repaired.

2. Lied about having cancer and a mastectomy because she wanted to fleece thousands of pounds from me and my siblings. We flew to her (she'd moved abroad) only to find it was just another lie.

3. Made us lie to our welfare officer (we were wards of court when we lived with her as a single mum) so we were subject to her emotional abuse for years when we should really have been given into our father's custody.

[NotLost]

1. Bailed out when I was diagnosed with cancer.  Messed with her vacation plans.
2. Had affair with a guy half her age who'd had a relationship with my sibling.
3. Walked out on us.

She had to apologize in writing once as part of her alcohol abuse treatment. I still have it. Part of the therapy was for her to say why she did some things and then acknowledge how they negatively affected us and caused us real pain. She never did the second part, it was simply about why she did the deeds. Like a poster upthread mentioned, it's the "thousand little cuts". Can definitely relate. Thousands of those in between the biggies.

[Spring Butterfly]

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