What now?

[hhaw]

Deep breath.   Let's look at the pros....
1.  The PD put HIMSELF on the Judge's radar.
2. The PD's behavior has the Judge snooping through your file, with purpose, and paying very close attention to the PD's manipulative controlling conduct.  The Judge SHOULD have read the file at the first hearing, but she didn't.  Now that she's aware, focused, and SEEs the facts.... trial is a much better option than it was before, IME.   
3.  The PD has expanded this case, and created more expense, time, and trouble for you and the children.  Being stuck in the middle of this adult conflict is detrimental to the children, and you might ask the court to award you all your legal expenses, bc of the PD's expansion of the case you've been trying to settle for months.

The Cons...  you're still stuck in limbo.  Please please please don't judge this good or bad.  Instead drop all expectations of settling early, and know the PD might be shooting himself in the foot badly with all this monkeying around.

Your best friend is a no nonsense Judge who understands the facts involved. I'd be writing out lists of things I'd ask the Judge for should we go to trial and the Judge felt inclined to give me anything I asked for.

What would that look like? 

Remember to appear sane, rational, and level at all times... invested in protecting the children's physical and emotional health, while also maximizing the PD's ability to parent, and be the best darned dad he can be.  That's your goal, and if the Judge trusts you to DO that, she just might put all decisions in your lap, while limiting the PD's power to control, and harm the kids. 

I've seen it happen.. .been there, done that.  If I'd stopped pretending to settle stuff, bc I was afraid, or my attorneys insisted, or forced it, or threatened to punish me if I didn't... at the expense of time, trauma and resources....... I could have gotten through the court mess in much less time.

YOU will KNOW that court can be your friend.  It might be the thing that ends this struggle for you and your children more quickly.

Drop expectation.  Expect the PD and his L to continue pulling silly ploys.  Don't let him scare you.  SEE him, speak about him with compassion, and let the Judge judge him.  You're serene, consistent, and focused on the kids, bc you're the one good enough parent in the room.

Also, if you prepare for trial, arrange childcare, pick out your outfit, worry your way to court.... it's more likely the PD will settle outside that courtroom than not, but they always always seem to force us to prepare for trial, which is difficult FOR US.

For the PD.... lobbing baseless allegations doesn't take any energy at all.  Their trial prep is easy, and they get a lot out of setting dates, pulling back, getting you to relax, then refusing to settle, with you havin to pull out all those documents again (JUST TERRIBLE IF YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND THE PD PLOYS) and struggle through trial prep again.  That's difficult if you expect things to end with a settlement that just never ever ever comes, IME.

Breathe.  This too will end.