She is sick again. Cue C-PTSD

[WomanInterrupted]

First      

And second - VERY nicely done!   

I didn't outright do something like that to Didi during that Move From Hell, but a donut  made me say, "We're leaving and not coming back.  This is fucking POINTLESS!"   

Yes, during the move, Didi lost her donut and had a freaking epic meltdown about it - screaming!  Stomping!  Shouting! Accusing everybody - even the movers - of wanting her to be miserable.  ONE of us did it *on purpose!*  We took her donut and she MUST have it NOW or her blood sugar will crash - said totally without irony while standing next to a box of junk food that had been packed, but not yet sealed off. 

The donut!  THE DONUT!  Where is my g-d donut!? 

I couldn't take any more and went outside to clear my head and have a cig, next to my car - when I spied, with my little eye, on the passenger-side dashboard, the missing donut, which Didi had forgotten to take out of the car after I drove her over.   

I finished my cig, grabbed the hot little bag that had been baking all morning in the sun, carried it in to the shop and Didi was *still* carrying on about the donut, until I walked up, and tapped her on the shoulder.

She spun around and I smiled and loudly said, "HERE is your FUCKING donut..." - and thwapped it into her hand before marching off to the furthest corner of the shop, to hide with DH.   

"Don't you get snippy with me, young lady!  Why is this so HOT!?" - she shot after me.  I ignored her.  I was DONE.

I told DH at 6PM, we revolt - and we're not coming back.  He agreed - BUT Didi had other ideas.  She figured out the movers had quit when they didn't come back to finish the job, and now expected US to stay as long as it took - and didn't care if our pets didn't get fed or our dogs weren't let out to do their business.

She decreed it would do them all good to miss a meal and the dogs could hold it. 

No.  You do not attempt to screw with our pets.  Game OVER.   

DH and I started to leave and Didi warned us NOT to go - they NEEEEEEEEEEDED us - but I called after myself that we'd be back in an hour...

After the door to the shop shut, I looked at DH and said, "Like fucking hell we will!" 

We went home, and oh gee, wouldn't ya know, that's when I'd discovered I'd strained my low  back, and DH wanted to stick around, just in case I needed anything    - Didi slammed the phone down in my ear. 

I found out later they'd gotten C's dozen or so cousins - all big, strapping, healthy young men - to finish the move for them. 

Yes - that help had been available the entire time, and would have made things go *much* more quickly, but Didi and Ray didn't want them around, because they didn't want to have to BEHAVE!   

Didi didn't learn a bloody thing from us bailing - she was even MORE determined to stick it to me than ever - but I hope your mom  behaved after you well-played clapback, and you have better luck than I did! 

[alphaomega]

Lololol  Pseudonym    Fiasco It was a look thats for darn sure.  Like if Hatred and Fear had a baby.   

WI - oh my sweet lord, a DONUT ?  A DOUGH NUT ????  Like we are talking about a pastry found at Dunks right ?  hahahahahahaha  omg.  I gotta tell you, when I first started reading, I thought, mayyybeeee, a "butt donut" ?  You know, like the kind they use for hemmoroids ?       

I have had so very many experiences like that over the years, that when I hear someone else has gone through the same thing, I have to pinch myself and ask - wait, is this real life ?



Welp, the move has finished.  And I'm quite certain I was sent an angel straight from heaven in these two services offered externally from AL.  One was the moving coordinator who has become a friend of mine now throughout all this.  The other, is an estate service, that cleaned out the balance of what was in her apt, and donates, auctions, and EBAY's the balance of whatever might be of value.  He keeps 50%.  Which as far as I am concerned, is more than fair.

Hell, I dont even want MONEY from this crap.

Turns out, she is blissfully happy at AL.  The likes of which I have never ever witnessed. 

Lets talk about why.....

She has a certain "taste", its very victorian in nature and if thats your thing, I suppose it could be charming in a sense.   

I cant do many things, but I CAN decorate the hell out of something.  It's kinda my jam.  Girlfriends often ask me to help them decorate, and I am always more than elated to.  I guess have I an uncanny ability to Feng the Shey up.    And I genuinely enjoy doing it.  I adore making spaces beautiful.  Most likely the result of having variant degrees of agorophobia throughout my entire life.

My home was always my escape hatch to the world I just NEVER fit into.

So, in typical codependent fashion, I kinda stepped in and took over the decorating portion of the move.    

And her little apartment is really quite adorable.  Like a little dollhouse.  Granted, its filled with all sorts of negative, but thats a story for another day...

NPDM is absolutely EATING UP all the attention she is getting from the nurse and doctors and staff and of course "All my neighbors are soooooo jealous of me !!!" 
"I have THE MOST BEAUTIFUL apartment and they all sneak by and try to get a look in my door !!" 
"I tell them my beautiful daughter made this all happen !!!"

The woman who never made A SINGLE friend in 19 years at independent living, now has chosen to actually LEAVE HER GD DOOR OPEN.   

Now, what gets even a bit more strange, is that all of her electronics (TV, phone) are doing some crazy things.  Her NEW TV will be on and working fine, then suddenly, it swtiches to SPANISH (LOLOLOL).  Or she will mute it, and it wont come back on. 

Or the real winner, out of the blue, it will go into some seeing impaired mode, where instead of subtitles for hearing impaired, it will give a play by play of whats occuring in the movie in the back ground (gestures, scenery, etc).

Now I have studied "energy" long enough to know that spirits can affect electronics the easiest.      

Her phone is also a whole other deal.  It goes on and off, and for the most part is useless. 

But that new TV ?  thats a freaking creepy situation for sure.  DH went over there yesterday to try to fix it and he looked at me and said - this one is above my pay grade 

I think that whole building might need a good Sageing, but specifically, her apartment. 

Because like attracts like, she might be in for one helluva wild ride...    

[2_exhausted]

   AlphaOmega,

We, unfortunately, have a lot in common. Please block your mother's number. Allow the ALF to do what they are being paid to do.

I too have c-ptsd, MDD, & GAD. I have limited energy from the life sucking experiences & people I have encountered. I go to work, feed my dog, and try to sleep. UBPD M is living with my aunt, her sister, after a hip fracture in December.

Yes, the playbook is the same. 

2_exhausted

[WomanInterrupted]

Yes, it was a donut, like you get at Dunkin.  That's why I was surprised she was having a meltdown while standing next to a box of snack foods.  Surely, some crackers or cookies would have prevented her blood sugar from crashing, but that would have been too easy, wouldn't it?  And she wouldn't have been able to have that *much* needed tantrum!   

You have NO idea how many times in my life I've thought, "This can't possibly be happening."   

She's having a g-d meltdown over a PASTRY - or shoes!  Clothes!  What Kim Kardashian did!  How the neighbor mows his lawn!  How I walk, talk or speak!  It was *endless* and you just never knew WTF was going to set her off this time!   

Ah yes...your mom is in the honeymoon phase - that won't last long, once she figures out people don't instantly appear the second she presses her button, or she's made to wait for things.   

Then she will be in hell, or a dog kennel, or a prison cell again - and if you haven't by then, I'd block her phone and just let the nursing home's social worker deal with her.

I'm *so* glad you had help with the move and yes, whatever the cost, it certainly IS worth it! 

After Ray fell, I found out the charities around here had gotten *super* picky in the past few years, and didn't want most of the stuff he'd either had or acquired since Didi died.  "Saul" (the eldercare attorney) told me that I could hire people to move the stuff out, and *Ray would pay for it* - since it's the normal cost of a move or dissolving a household.   

I was MORE than happy to shell out over $3000 of Ray's money to "Got Junk?" to make the problem go away, and I didn't care WHAT they did with it all.  If they can sell  stuff?  Fine by me, as long as it's *not my problem.* 

But I think most of it went to the town dump or recycling facility - by the time they got involved, Amvets had taken pretty much anything that could be resold.

That is *really* weird about her phone and television, and I do believe in paranormal stuff, but I'm more inclined to think in terms of Occam's Razor:  the most simple answer is probably the correct one.   

If I had to guess at the most simple answers, I'd say the TV somehow got damaged in the move or the remote  has gummy buttons that are sticking/wearing out, and her room is one of those with shit phone reception - my kitchen is like that.  It's literally 8 feet away from this room (5 bars), but if I go in there, I get ONE bar!   

Whatever it is - let the nursing home sort it and stay *out* of it.  They may be able to get her a donated TV and phone from a deceased resident - which is how Ray gets ALL his worldly needs  taken care of.   

Ray never had an open door policy - once he stopped playing Sweet Old Codger and got comfortable in his surroundings, he became  Antagonistic Ray the Tyrant again and got up to his usual garbage - being verbally and physically abusive, demanding his MONEY, insisting he is RIGHT on all matters, and overall, just being a miseryguts who HAD to be put in a private room, because not only had he tried to assault another resident, but he'd threatened to kill his roommate!   

So Ray got what he wanted and now sits in a dark room, with the door closed, and I'm sure residents and staff fork the Sign of the Evil Eye as they cross the hall and hurry past, lest the The Thing In Room 43 demand candy, boobies, or the death of his adult daughter, preferably by the act of personally wringing my neck.   

THAT'S a room which will definitely need smudging - and possibly a full-on exorcism!   

Whatever your mom's default is will return once she's *comfortable* - or thinks somebody snubbed or slighted her, and she realizes the nursing home and other residents don't cater to HER, specifically.   

Stay out of it and let her fight her own battles with the social worker, who is actually *paid* to deal with this bullshit.   

You've gone FAR beyond  what I would have done and others  who can actually help can see to her needs.

Now your Watch is over.   

[alphaomega]

Hey WI - maybe we can get a 2 for 1 deal on an old priest and a young priest....

[alphaomega]

Welp, its been a minute since the latest heath crisis du jour.  And, this one was a DOOZY Do as far as NPD goes.

However, *I* remained firmly planted and floating in the shark tank.   

DH wasn't so lucky......

Received a panic call to "COME NOW !   I NEED YOU I CANT STAND OR WALK PAIN PAIN PAIN" 
Fortunately for my still traumatized childhood psyche (still need that "out" for some reason) *I* had pulled a hip muscle dance/walking to the car after the Steve Miller Band concert (Big Ole Jet Areoline gets me everytime) lol

I told her I couldn't come.  I couldn't walk either.  So she better call 911.

She ends up at the ER.  And I well imagine she is "flagged" for being a rip roaring PITA.  SO, she doesn't get a room in the ER because they are "full".  They keep her in the hallway for 7 hours, administering various pain meds.  This occurs every few months because shes got bone on bone knee.  They cant do much other than pain relief and steroids.

Sadly, for the ER staff, she is propped up against the station, where I am absolutely sure was a FULL BLOWN NARCISSISTIC ALL YOU CAN EAT BUFFET for supply.

Shes a former ER nurse, thinks she knows better than anyone how to RUN an ER (even though she hasn't practiced since they still used leaches, and only did that for about 7 years to boot).   

DH decides to head over to the hospital to see what drama is ensuing, and I'll just leave it at this.....
After walking in and hearing her screaming (in pain, at the doctors, nurses, family members of other patients) HE winds up BUYING THE ENTIRE ER STAFF DEEP DISH LOU MALNATIS PIZZA...


Ironically, we have a neighbor who is an ER doctor there and was on staff that day.  He looked at my husband dumbfounded and asked "Are you related to her ?!?!".  DH replies no sir, and the only reason I'm here is because I love my wife...

Mind you, this ER doc was also dealing with 2 patients that had to go to ICU and another that was going into hospice....    
But what does she care.


Only because of DH, was the ER disarmed from her Crapfest.   


She was in impossible form.  Calling the nurses bitches, telling everyone they were incompetent, screaming they hadnt FED HER (the nurse overheard her saying that at said "Ummm, I have offered you something to eat *3* seperate times).  DH said it was her best performance to date.


They wound up keeing her overnight only becuase I think our friend took pity on DH....


Net morning, miracle of miracles - shes all better !!!  Guess that what happens when a NARC gets her belly full of supply...


They release her back to her gorgeous AL facility, but she doesntt want to take the medicar.  Because.....wait for it....... she doesnt have any clothes to wear other than the pajamas they brought her in, and they offered to (GASP) cover her in a sheet 

I get the call at work, "You need to come get me!!!!"   I reminded her I still cant walk cant do that.  Take the MediCar.

Do you know what she replied ?????

"CAN YOU IMAGINE *ME* having to go back to my AL apt WITH A SHEET COVERING ME ?>?>?>?"

Needless to say, she wound up taking the MediCar....

This injury of mine is a gift in strange wrapping....

[Psuedonym]

Hahahaha! I'm sorry to laugh but we are so related. This, OMG: Calling the nurses bitches, telling everyone they were incompetent, screaming they hadnt FED HER (the nurse overheard her saying that at said "Ummm, I have offered you something to eat *3* separate times).

This was exactly what Negatron did during the Protest That Failed(TM), down to the 'no one has given me any food in three days!!' lie that she now denies. That and that everybody in the AL wasn't allowed to touch her or help her with her broken arm for 'legal reasons'. During the height of the PTF I asked the director of the ER if she was gong to end up in a mental hospital and she said 'quite possibly'. Good times. It really is a full on tantrum of epic proportions.

Your husband sounds like a great guy. I too felt bad for all the professionals that have to deal with that #@$% but unfortunately I think they deal with it more than we care to imagine.

Stay in the shark cage and take care of your injury. Happy Independence Day!!

[Andeza]

Hmm, when I pull a muscle I like a nice soak in a hot bath with Epsom salt, and a dash of essential oils. Lovely time.

And after all that mess, I think you deserve it! Good job staying out of it all. We are all so very proud of you! 

[WomanInterrupted]

Oh man!  I guess she wanted to shoot off her her own 4th of July fireworks!   

Thanks to your hip muscle (I'm not a big Steve Miller fan, but I'll do the same at a Blue Oyster Cult concert   ), you learned a VERY valuable lesson:  if she needs to go to the hospital, she has to *call an ambulance.*   

Nobody needs to meet her at the hospital!  Your DH was kind in doing you a solid (and I'm sure they appreciated the lunch), but *nobody has to go to the ER to be with her* - AND she can get back to the nursing home *by herself.*   

So the next time this happens, you know to DO NOTHING.   

Things to say:

1.  Call an ambulance.  If you need to go to the ER, you need to call an ambulance.

2.  We can't get to the ER.  (or you can just ignore her voice mails and delete them.)

3.  Take the medcar home - we can't drive you.  (or again, ignore the voice mails and delete them - she KNOWS what to do!)

Believe me, the LESS you involve yourself, the better off you are  - and somebody might put in a note for her to have a psych consult, one of these days.   

Oh yeah, she stayed in the hall, they didn't feed her and they covered her in only a sheet - gosh, WHERE oh where have I heard variants of that one before? 

When unNPD Ray was first put in the nursing home, people were still handing him phones to call me - he hadn't become a full-blown PITA yet, and people would think they were doing him a favor.   

So yeah, I get a call - come NOW!  He's living in the HALL!  They took his stuff!  All of it!  They're not feeding him!  He hasn't eaten in DAYS and he's LIVING IN THE HALL!!!!!  He doesn't even have any CLOTHES and he IS NAKED IN THE HALL because they stole all his stuff!  DO SOMETHING!  Come now and TAKE ME HOME!

I asked to talk to the man who gave him the phone.  He barked, "WHY!?"

I said, "I have to ask him something."

It went like this:

Me:  Are you an employee?

Him:  Yes.

Me:  They're cleaning his room, aren't they?

Him:  Yes.

Me:  And I'm  sure you're not starving him.

Him: (chuckles):  No.

Me:  And he's fully dressed.

Him (chuckling):  That's right.

Me:  The next time he asks to call somebody, can you tell him you left your phone at home?

Him: (still chuckling) Not a problem.  You have a good day.

Me:  You too - and I don't know how you stand it.

Him:  (still chuckling):  I get paid.  Goodbye.

The social worker at the nursing home once described Ray as a *feral human* - and I TOTALLY get that! 

And it sounds like your mom  is nearly at the same level - or approaching it, quickly.   

Be well - rock out *safely*    and *ignore* any more foolishness from your mom - you'll be GLAD you stayed in that shark cage!   

[alphaomega]

Oh my goodness did you guys ever make me laugh with your comments - coffee out the nose !!! lololololol

I was thinking about when DH said the ER doctor asked him "What the hell is her story ?"

This is a wonderful WONDFERFUL man.  Like salt of the earth kinda doctor who has a bedside manner of an angel.  He is truly a healer and he cares.

"What is her story ?" gave me pause.  That question has actually been ringing back in my head since DH told me it. 

Her "Story", I now firmly believe after almost 5 decades of winning the title of her daughter, is that she will stop at nothing to get what she perceives she wants.  At the second.  which will invariably change as soon as she received said want. 

Her "Story" is that she has no regard for anyone, ever.  (I almost continued that sentence with a "if they dont..." ) 

But opted to leave it at NO (clap) REGARD (clap) FOR (clap) ANYONE (clap) EVER (clap).

The nurses at AL called me yesterday.  She wont give up her meds for them to administer TO HER that she was sent home from the hospital with.   

This poor nurse sheepishly called me because we all know that NPDM reamed her a new one when she followed protocol and required her meds from her.   

I felt so awful for her, I called NPDM and asked her to do so.  Just give her the damn meds mother for Christs sake !   

Welp, you can just imagine how that went down...

"Who the fuck do these broads think they are bothering (BLLLAHAHAHAH) *MY* DAUGHTER ?!?! 

(Switch to pitiful waif..)

"i just dont want those mean ole nurses bothering my poor sick pathetic injured wittle wittle baby girl"   

(switch to haughty queen)

"These "nurses" arent even nurses !  They are all just glorified bed pan cleaners ! *I AM* an R.N> !!! "   

I said, OK you've got it under control.  I'm out.

I realized that I was only going to make it worse for that poor nurse if I kept pressing the issue.  So I backed off and stood down.   

The AL calls me like they think *I* have some sort of control over this mess.  And, think I can somehow disarm her. 
But what we have all failed to realize, until now,  is that there is no disarming a ticking time bomb hell bent on self destructing and taking as many down with her as she can.

I do feel so bad for those good souls that have to deal with her on the daily. 

Cost and money notwithstanding, it has to be its own sort of fresh hell.



   

[WomanInterrupted]

That's the one that used to drive me absolutely nuts - the social worker from the nursing home calling and acting like I knew where unNPD Ray's "off" button was.

Lady, I've known him over 50 years and I'm pretty sure there isn't one. 

I got her off my back by saying, "Any involvement on my part is only going to make it worse for you because I seem to be his biggest TRIGGER."

That's when the calls to DO something about Ray's behavior stopped - and I realized if *they're* having that much trouble with him, what the hell chance did *I* stand, on my own!?   

You might want to use that phrase then next time they call - you're her biggest TRIGGER and your involvement will only make things worse.  They'll start coming up with ways to manage her, without you.

"What's her story?"

I actually told another social worker, when she asked me what Ray's "deal" was, "He's the king of the world - we just live in it."   

Ray is a lot like your mom, without an RN degree - he knows *everything* - and that's what used to trip him up when he went to buy a new car, or sell stamps or coins.  Everybody was out  to cheat and rob him because he KNEW what the car was worth, or what those stamps or coins were worth because he was *grading his own stamps and coins* and had looked up the "sell it yourself" price for the car, which is *never* the same as trade-in value.

If the jar of chlorine for the pool says to use 2 scoops, once a day, he'd use FOUR (or MORE!) because *he knew better than the manufacturer* - and didn't understand why nobody would use the pool.   

Dude, because burning eyes, flaking, peeling skin, green hair and respiratory issues aren't things people want after a swim!

His doctor would prescribe meds?  Ray would take what he FELT like taking, when he felt like taking it and *not* what it said on the label - and if the doctor changed the meds, it wasn't because they needed to be changed, it was because the doctor was a *quack* and didn't know what he was doing, because Ray wasn't getting YOUNGER!   

The doctor would say to cut down on sugar - in particular, candy.  Ray would substitute it with root beer and canned fruit in heavy, sickly-sweet syrup, then get mad at the *doctor* when his sugar was still too high!

When he was told to use a cane or walker because his balance was so bad, Ray said, "My daughter can catch me."   

More like jump out of the way, or better still, not be around!   

He'd make long-distance calls and forget he made them, then call the phone company and scream like a lunatic that they were robbing an old man -  and he'd scream so loudly, that most times, they'd just take off the charges - which is how Ray got so far in life.  People just didn't want to deal with him, so they'd do what he wanted, to get him off their backs.

I could go on and on, but you get the general idea - always right, with NO regard for others - and even less for me - which is why I'm blissfully NO CONTACT.   

[alphaomega]

She's coming into her power...

SHE IS COMING INTO HER POWER....

She spent years not realizing who she was.
She doubted her beauty, her intelligence and her power.
She was one who always felt that she didn't quite belong
because when she came into this life, her ties to the world of spirit remained far too strong..

She was confused and lost throughout her youth, unable to see herself much less accept and appreciate herself.
As a result she was like a ship bobbing in the ocean without a rudder and without the sails of confidence to direct her towards her own promised land.

She was one who bereft of her own acceptance, hungered for it and searched for it through relationships with others.
She was a people pleaser as a result,
she would not risk confrontation in order to support herself,
she succumbed to being influenced by the opinions of others even though she had already received her instruction from within.
She allowed her truth to be sublimated,
she allowed herself to be controlled...
Her need to be accepted and loved was such that she wasn't prepared to step on or over any toes.

It took her years of being taken for granted,
ruled and overlooked before she put two and two together,
had enough and got the message.
Her suffering forced her to step out of the status quo that had always been too tight for her in the first place...
she became an avid seeker, searching for answers...
She needed to know who she was, she needed to know why she was here.
She needed to find a way to free herself from fear

She travelled far and wide,
She sat at the feet of a master,
She became a Yogini of an ancient lineage
and applied the teachings to her life,
She grew strong,
She awakened her heart
She awakened her shakti,
Her third eye opened as a result...
Her potentials started to be unearthed rapidly because the veils had parted and she recognized who she was,
She also recognized who everyone else was behind their socialized facade
and because she had seen through the myth of idealized perfection,
she could appreciate the actual perfection of the imperfections in herself and in others that she had once resisted and rejected.

Today she walks with conscious awareness..
she no longer labels people as good or bad,
She interprets everything as fluctuating energy without a fixed assignment.
She holds space for the confusion of others because she's been there and she still visits that place herself
she understands their hunger for love misappropriated as selfishness, jealousy and competition...
She feels their vulnerability as she feels her own...
She knows the fear reflected in their eyes through her own past terror...
But underneath all of it she can see the obscured light,
the presence of God/dess despite all the protective armor...
She's aware of this same divine presence vibrating in her body and in her heart...
She's not so quick to cast judgment anymore because she knows that she is not above those that she is tempted to judge...
she knows that she is not separate
And because she gives herself permission to be herself as she is,
she can accept others as they are with appreciation and compassion ...

She's not invested in changing anyone either,
she respects everyone's chosen path because
she understands that every soul is doing exactly what they need to do in order to evolve
So it is not her place to save anyone from their own lessons...
She reveals, heals, inspires and encourages instead,
she reminds others of their forgotten divinity...
She holds up a mirror so that they can see God/dess reflected back...
She has become a midwife for the re-emergence of the Divine Feminine soul.

The shy, timid maiden has transformed into the courageous, outspoken mother of all...
She says it as she sees it confidently without shrinking back,
She's fiercely protective of the helpless,
She's A torch for those lost in darkness,
and she's not afraid to take a stand for peace and love to flourish in this world...
if someone tries to persuade her against her own knowing she simply and graciously responds, "Thank you for sharing."
and she walks away...
Because she trusts her "self",
She knows that she is Divine Mother embodied..

She is Artemis of the wild merged with...
compassionate tara and warrior Durga...
She has traversed the journey of Inanna into the dark underworld and emerged in possession of her kingdom
She knows why she is here and she's fulfilling her purpose..
She's not alone, she's among many
who have chosen to return bearing love as their message,
their path and their gift of healing.

© Caroline de Lisser @carolinedelisser

[WomanInterrupted]

Yeah...you're talking about unBPD Didi and unNPD Ray, too!   

She's coming to her power by being a sad, sick, old, miserable WAIF - and everybody must DO HER BIDDING - OR ELSE!   

Because the WAIF also has the lungs of a QUEEN - and many demands that MUST be obeyed!   

Or else *what,* exactly?   

Nothing.  She'd just moan or scream louder or complain about the incompetence of people  - in front of them - to me, on the phone, while I was playing Freecell and thinking, "Those poor nurses.  They don't get paid enough to put up with this bullshit."   

Your mom is making the same mistake Didi and Ray made:  the inability to see CAUSE and EFFECT.   

If you treat the staff like shit, scream at them, and make their lives miserable, they will NOT go out of their way to be helpful, kind or cheerful.  They'll just deal with you as perfunctorily as possible so you go the fuck AWAY.   

It's like they've never heard the phrase, "You catch more flies with honey than vinegar."

If your mom was *nice* she might have been treated  more than perfunctorily - and by that, I mean ALL business, what's going on, why are you screaming, got it, I'll be back - and then that nurse tags another nurse to be "it" for the next visit to the person acting like an absolute nightmare - and just happens to be your mom.   

Your mom is only going to continue to melt down like this, until the day somebody decides  to start testing her competency - or if you have Medical Proxy, *you* can get the ball rolling.   

If you're the Proxy, and you're contacted - suggest it.   

She'll probably pass the first one, but she'll be *on a bubble.*

Ask for a psychiatrist, but settle for a neurologist  - she'll probably ace the first one, but don't be discouraged.

Once a competency test is requested, they'll do them periodically, depending on how your mom does -  she'll get wise to them, quickly (In Ray's words, "They think I'm crazy!") - BUT being true to form and coming into her power, she won't be able to help herself and will have a full-on-MELTDOWN of epic proportions *if you and your DH continue to keep doing NOTHING and not showing up.   

*That's* when words like "confabulation" and "self-aggrandizing behavior and speech" start being written down and her "sarcasm" will be taken as CONFUSION.

That's how Ray got himself sent to the Memory Care Unit.  He had an agenda, he was going to work it, and the psychiatrist *knew* what the hell was going on - and they'd keep dancing this dance until the day somebody found Ray dead at the bottom of the basement stairs because *you weren't going to tell HIM to stay out of his basement and accept help from anybody who wasn't me.*

The me, as Medical Proxy, who'd asked for a competency test in the first place.   

When they come to their power, they get DRUNK on it, very quickly - and that's when it's *crucial* to stay behind the scenes and do anything *by phone, fax, or email, ONLY.*   

Their "power" makes them louder, meaner, nastier, and *worse than you can possibly imagine.*   

Except you're starting to imagine it!   

STAY AWAY.   

Let the wheels fall off the train, organically - and watch it  crash from afar, from the safety of that shark cage.   

Once they come to their POWER - they often self-destruct, and can't help but bite the noses off their own faces, by being their own worst enemy.   They just can't help themselves, as they come into their "power."   

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