SD finally has her own insurance

[athene1399]

This post may be more like unimportant word vomit. I feel like I've been holding it in for the last three months so want to get it all out so I can mentally move on.

It's taken far longer than we anticipated, but the insurance situation is finally resolved.  SD19 is now in charge of her own insurance. Hopefully this will never be an issue again as BPD BM has been removed from the equation (about as much as she can be anyway).

We explained to the medicaid navigator that BM kicked SD out, yet there were letters from the old insurance company she was expected to get from BM and she had to remain in contact with BM becasue of it. This upset me. I couldn't believe that after being kicked out, SD was expected to talk to BM even if it maybe wasn't safe to do so. I couldn't believe they expected that of SD.

The whole process really stressed out SD (and us). BM told her she took care of things and then we later found out she didn't. SD tried to take care of things herself, but was told by the insurance company that only BM could take her off her plan (BM had her on a state marketplace insurance with her and SD was trying to get on her own Medicaid because BM lapses the insurance at least once a year). SD had another verbal altercation with BM over something unrelated so asked SO to talk to BM and get BM to do what was needed. So he broke NC.

The other frustrating thing was after BM removed SD from her plan, SD called to cancel it and they said it would be in effect until the end of January. She went to the doctor prior to that, and they said the insurance wasn't active. So the navigator tried running the Medicaid again but was told there was something still blocking it. We assumed it was the marketplace insurance was still showing active, so BM was supposed to get a letter saying SD was removed from that insurance and had it deactivated. After we got confirmation that that insurance was no longer active, SD still couldn't process her Medicaid application becasue someone had on open Medicaid application with her. Believe it or not, it was BM. SO contacted her to drop SD from the application. She actually did without throwing a fit. I really thought she wasn't going to do it or would start verbally abusing SO. None of that happened. We were both pleasantly surprised. And we found out today that BM did do what she said (we had to wait until SD's application could be ran again to find out). Another pleasant surprise.

I guess a good thing that happened was SO and SD got to talk about things. The one day SD blew up on SO saying that if her parents were responsible she would have insurance and she should be on their insurance until she's 26. SO was kind of like 'Wait a minute" and explained that BM took him to court so that she could be in charge of SD's insurance and that he legally can't do anything but has helped her whenever she asked and talked to BM when SD asked him to. He even said that he's not listed as her dad so no one at the insurance company will even speak to him, but that he tried calling anyway. He then kind of said "I get that you're frustrated, but that doesn't mean you can take it out on me." I thought SO might lose his cool and slip up and say something bad about BM, but he stuck to the facts and explained why things are the way they are and that he's just as helpless in this scenario but is trying to do whatever he can to resolve things. I think if they had this conversation five years ago it wouldn't have gone as well as SO and I have learned so much, both from you guys on this site and though our experiences with BM as we've grown from that whole situation. Everything has improved SD and SO's relationship. He knows how to express him self better to her, as well as navigate the situations with BM. We couldn't have done all this without you guys.  I can't thank you all enough.

So back to glorious NC with BM. And the medical stuff has been such an issue for me, so I'm hoping this resolves that. I'm hoping we can keep BM out of the medical stuff going forward. I'm thrilled!

[Stepping lightly]

That's awesome news Athene- feels like the end of an era!!  Hopefully things will calm down for all of you and you are now able to block out any attempts from BM to create chaos.  Yay for NC!!

[Associate of Daniel]

That's fantastic news, athene.  Well done for sticking it out and always being there for SD.

I can't wait for the day when ds13 sees the reality of his pds and becomes independent of them.

AOD

[Penny Lane]

Hooray!

[athene1399]

Thanks, guys. SD is also setting up her own doctor's appointments now too, so I think this has really helped her to be more independent and gain the confidence that she can do this stuff on her own.