Feeling like I'm in the twighlight zone

[NotFooled]

M is not PD but I've come to the conclusion she was the GC in her family.  Grand mom was probably uBPD but GM has been dead for quite some time.  But M never really did get to develop into herself until recent years.  She's in her late 70's and has mobility issues but she's very independent.  To be honest I never thought it would be possible but she seems to be coming into her own which I am so happy to see.

Over the years she has had several roommates but one has become very close friends with her and she had a neighbor that she had become very good friends with, both are male. 
Today I got a call that her neighbor friend  had gave her a terrible time when she refused to take him shopping.  He could barely standup and she didn't feel comfortable taking him.  He got so difficult with her that she had to call his family just so he would agree to go home. 

After she told me about the altercation I got concerned and decided to contact her former roommate to get some perspective.  He didn't seem to concerned about the situation with the neighbor, but then went on to tell me that he felt my mother needed to be in a retirement home which I don't think is the case at this point, since she seems to enjoy living in her home independently.  Her home is immaculate and she hasn't had any issues with falling or medical emergencies.  So I wasn't sure where this was coming from.

Then he told me he wanted my Mom to move in with him and his new wife.     

I think both of these situations just seem completely bizarre and out of bounds.  I love that my mom has friends but I'm concerned especially about the neighbor.

[Blueberry Pancakes]

Well, I think you are correct that both situations with the neighbor and the former roommate seem odd.  I am glad that you are keeping an eye on things and making sure she is safe both physically and emotionally.  If your mother grew up as the GC, she might be too willing to submit to other's demands in order to gain their approval and she might not trust her own judgement.   
As for the neighbor, I believe your mom did the right thing by not taking him shopping since he is unable to stand and your mother could be responsible if he fell or had other issues. The fact the neighbor reacted with such anger seems controlling and like he might be trying to take advantage of your mother. It is nice to have friends, but not if anyone has to sacrifice their own good judgement or safety.
As for the former roommate, again, he may have a self-centered motive in wanting your mom to move in with him. Perhaps he is looking for rent money? Perhaps he is looking for another woman around the house for other purposes?  Your mother sounds like she is managing well in her home independently. It is her decision to live at home as long as she can. If she is ever in need of assisted living you will notice clear signs such as the house being messy, not wearing clean clothes, not paying bills on time, old food in the fridge, or she starts forgetting dates and times of appointments, etc. It does not sound that this is the case. 
I am sorry these situations occurred and it must be upsetting for you both. I suggest to just keep an eye on things and support your mother's decisions to keep people like this at a distance because she may be second guessing herself.