Attaching emotional significance to things with no value

[Jsinjin]

I have a stbxUOCPDw.  She has a range of traits and behaviors and I've slowed my posting because I've found that many are already on here.  But this one is a continuous one and I haven't seen a version of it

She has a strange emotional and deep sense of attachment and loss for things that don't even have a significance.   

The company I worked for sent out all the employees in our division a care package of stuff that included a towel, a tumbler, pair of aftermarket Bluetooth headphones and pens etc.   The boxes of stuff came through our office and we're packaged and sent to everyone.   At the end we had a bunch of leftover and our supervisor told us to just use what we wanted so over a year I wound up with about five of these cheap plastic water or iced coffee tumblers with lid and straw that have the company logo.  This was 10 years ago.   Two weeks ago we got a new dishwasher and the higher powered settings melted one of the tumblers.   I have four or so left because they're cheap, they get lost and they crack etc.  You seriously would have thought a family pet was suddenly run over.   "Ohhh, your glass, I knew we should have read the instructions".

This "ohhhh nooo" emotional sobbing went on for more than a day and I kept saying, I have a drawer full of stupid water glasses ranging from yeti things to promotional crud from little league baseball games.   I have no attachment to these things and she shouldn't either.  In fact it's bizarre that she does. 

But I've noticed the same type of severe distress and over reaction to so many weird things.   A boy scout project for kits has a bunch of half dollar paint brushes bought at a hardware store and inevitably the kids leave them petrifying on the ground.   That's a definite "ohhhh nooo" and sobbing.   I bought nieces and nephews fourth of July toys at the dollar store that included water balloon slingshots.  These were a dollar each and there were four of them.   One broke a few minutes in and "ohhh nooooooo" and then a sort of despair about the object.   .

To me, wrecking a car is a major hassle that and deserves some despair for the reasons of the paperwork, inconvenience and damage.   Breaking an arm is a big "ohhh nooooooo".   My grandfather left me a pocket watch and if the kids played baseball with it if be upset with them and really wouldn't know what to do to immediately reconilcile the loss although eventually I would get over it.   

But in my mind to be healthy, if a cabinet drawer handles breaks because it's been there for 10 years and the screw wore out A) I don't have an emotional attachment to if and B) either we can fix it or get something similar if not the same and move on

I guess this is why we have her last two vehicles in the back yard not running, completely dead and slowly returning to their roots as base elements while she drives a brand new vehicle that we bought; there ris an emotional attachment to these cars that have over 300k.miles on them that we literally drove the wheels off of. 

Again, a fully restored Shelby mustang is a keepsake.   A Toyota minivan with 330k miles or a Chevy traverse with 295 kmmiles are just heaps of junk worthy of donating to a local "donate your used car charity"

[Poison Ivy]

This is so frustrating! Are you ever tempted to have headphones on all the time to block the sound effects of these emotional reactions?

[1footouttadefog]

Sorry, that has got to be annoying.

Hoarding is complicated to be sure.

I would have a lot of resentment about never being able to have a nice place when I had done all the right things to make it happen.

To see emotion over junk while I was not having my emotional intimacy needs met would be another area of resentment.

At some point every aspect of life is being sacrificed, but to what end?

[ploughthrough2021]

The other day, I threw out an rubber ice cube tray that was leaking in the recycle bin and my stdbxuNPDw fished it back out and put it back on the kitchen counter.  Our double garage is so full of stuff that she keeps and I ve never been able to park my car in it.  As soon as I clear some space she fills it with more junk.  I don't even bother anymore.

[HeadAboveWater]

I have seen PDs have odd reactions to objects based on their perceived value or replacement cost. I had a grandparent who couldn't let a deal get away, so anything priced on deep discount came into the house. The basement, garage, and attic were just storehouses of new and like-new goods that no one in the family needed. Yet none of it could be donated to people who might need it more, and nothing could stop the pace of acquisition. I also have a parent in-law who ascribes emotional meaning to the tiniest of things. My spouse has not lived at home in two decades. Yet, his parent keep finding small things to belonged to him in their house. By small, I mean receipts and ticket stubs in old jackets hanging in the closet. They then gnash their teeth and wail if my spouse rejects the plastic baggies of these found "treasures" or otherwise dismisses their value.

I have never been able to figure out what the "ooooh nooo" reaction you so accurately describe is about. All I can do is set a boundary and say "no" to the things I don't need in my life.

[Kat54]

She obviously has a hoarding issue. Have never had to deal with hoarding. But I'm so sorry. I know how hard this is for you but you must must think of yourself.

[Cascade]

That sounds really frustrating. My pd husband isn't as extreme as that but he does give more value to things than most people would. And if something was nice or treasured when it was new, it remains in that state even when twenty years old and falling apart. And if I say something about replacing he will act offended.