This website has introduced me to immensely useful acronyms:
FOG - fear, obligation, guilt
JADE - justify, attack, defend, explain
DARVO - deny, attack, reverse victim/offender
I'd like to add one more - all I have in this world, for myself or to offer others, is "TEA" - time, attention, energy.
No-one is entitled to these things of mine. They're for me, and mine to choose to give, if I want.
Well I have a bit of an obsession with tea, so I really like that one and won't forget it! My TEA is important, damn it!
have looked up acronyms as needed from people using them
however, had no idea FOG was one :stars:
thought it meant actual fog & we're in this cloudy fog, unable to see!
fear, obligation, guilt- of course, makes perfect sense
i love the TEA acronym!!!
I like that! I think "you can't have my tea" is a great resolution to make when dealing with any form of toxicity from others.
Quote from: Andeza on July 11, 2021, 09:07:08 AM
"you can't have my tea"
Yes, I like that!
And sharing tea is such a gesture of communion. I happily share tea with those I love. People who just take tea can stay the hell away from my teapot! ;)
Right now, I'm gonna have a nice cup of tea, just for me.
Quote from: Jolie40 on July 10, 2021, 11:59:34 AM
however, had no idea FOG was one :stars:
Jolie 40, It's good, right? Of course, the fogginess is part of the meaning too. I don't know if it was made up as a backronym but it's pretty handy.
I can't remember when I learned what it stood for but I keep having periodic amnesia about it!
I've learned so much from reading & youtube and then the trauma/splitting makes me forget loads of details.
Or, I just recognise things like this as an abstract concept and don't realise that it's happening very concretely in my life!
I realised recently that I was still completely fogged by my family;
every thought about them was full of fear, obligation and guilt. Every thought!
Which was triggering me into JADEing obsessively to myself - ruminating, if you will.
It's so handy to have the mnemonic to go - Oh, I'm (making myself) feeling FOG and I'm JADEing - again! And I don't need to feel or do any of this. Phew!
:cheer: :cheer: :cheer:
Quote from: Boat Babe on July 12, 2021, 05:58:30 AM
Right now, I'm gonna have a nice cup of tea, just for me.
:like: