"Mother Types"

[Magnolia34]

I recently saw someone reference a "Queen" mother type in another message and somehow, in the last few years on here, have never heard of these! In reading through all 4 types I see A LOT of all of them in my DH's bpdxw. It certainly depends on the situation and whether she's in a "high" or "low" but it was like reading from a script of things DH has shared with me and situations I've witnessed myself.

Does anyone find this to be the case? Or do you typically see one or the other. I sent the page to DH and he said the "Witch" is the one that sounds like he wrote it himself. With the "Waif" being her default when she's in a "low." But like I said... depending on the situation I've seen them all.

Reading about the fallout for the children on each type was REALLY helpful as well. Anyone with children or step children of a PD may want to take a look.

[Call Me Cordelia]

Fascinating. My parents are both uNPD, but my F totally fits the witch profile, with a good dose of queen. It's not uncommon for BPD and NPD to be comorbid, but that would bring him up to 4 PDs.  (Also ASPD and OCPD.) Mom is more of a waif.

[Latchkey]

It is an interesting way to look at the relationship though I think many with BPD cycle through variations of these - it can be helpful to put a name to behavior types.

The archetypes you are describing are from this book:

Understanding the Borderline Mother: Helping Her Children Transcend the Intense, Unpredictable, and Volatile Relationship
by Christine Ann Lawson

https://outofthefog.website/personality-disorders-1/borderline-mother-types

[athene1399]

SO's BPDxw is like the "queen" but tries to appear like the "waif" if that makes sense. It's like the act she tries to put on for attention or to drive her sense of entitlement or manipulation tactics. Very interesting to read about. Thank you for bringing this up ACC and thank you Latchkey for posting the link.