Practicing Change

[Associate of Daniel]

Actually, I will add to this a suggestion.  Or at least an observation from my own experience.

When uNPD exH left I quickly gave him all of his stuff.  Over the next couple of years I did find more bits and pieces belonging to him and quickly handed them over.

I still had stuff that we had acquired as a couple that he didn't want.  I also had a lot of things that were gifts from his family.

I'm thankful that I didn't get rid of all of that stuff straight away, as over the years I went through periods of time that I felt the urge to purge him and his family out of my system.  The only way I could do that was to get rid of stuff that had a connection to them.

So, I suggest you keep some stuff for a while, even if it's just stuck up in the top of a cupboard out of sight.  Then those things will be there for you to purge when you feel the need.

10 years on, my urges to purge are now almost non existent, thankfully.  But the last few times I've struggled to find anything to get rid of, and I've felt a bit lost.  Going for a walk or seeing friends etc didn't seem to help.

Healing takes a while and we all take different routes to it.  So take or leave my experience for yourself.

Either way, enjoy the process.

AOD