During a meltdown

[ocean2wave]

My uBPDh did not get his way and he's having a meltdown. (nothing new).  Since I've discovered this website and his possible dx, I am adopting MC.  Relaxed.  Eating my salad.  Figuring out what else to have for dinner.  (He cooked a chicken but he's sulking in the bedroom so who knows if that will be available to eat).
It's interested to sit back and watch him go into his disordered thinking and acting.  I don't have to get sucked in anymore.

Question:  I keep looking for a definition of "supply" as I hear others talk about it.  I'm pretty sure I know what it means but would love more of a complete description.  Thanks!

[Cascade]

I think supply means their need for attention, either positive attention or negative attention.

[Lauren17]

Congratulations on keeping your MC and attending to your own meal!

I hope that it leads to fewer meltdowns in the future.

[ocean2wave]

It was interesting for me to observe that he rode that wave for less than 24 hours.  Then something new caught his eye and he was all about wanting that and at least temporarily let go of the other things he "had to have".

What I observed within my self was, that I was able to stay MC and not get sucked back in by feeling guilty or abandoned.  And that the meltdown was self-limiting as a result.  (However this also relates to circular conversations that go on and on or at least are brought up by uBPDh once or twice a week).  So that was good.

On the other side, as I come more to terms in accepting that this is what's going on w/H (have been trying to label it or understand it for 21 years) and doing MC, I think, "is this what I want in a relationship?".  I realize I'm not alone (which is what makes this website and forum so helpful!).  Through years of therapy and participation in codependancy and Al-anon recovery, I have learned to ask for what I need and attempt to have honest relationships.  While this doesn't feel dishonest per se, it doesn't feel honest or like a "full" relationship...which I guess it isn't.  It's having a relationship with a child.  Or a drunk.  So part of this process for me is deciding if this is ok with me.  And I guess this is all about coming Out of the FOG. 

Thanks for listening.

[heron]

On the other side, as I come more to terms in accepting that this is what's going on w/H (have been trying to label it or understand it for 21 years) and doing MC, I think, "is this what I want in a relationship?".  I realize I'm not alone (which is what makes this website and forum so helpful!).  Through years of therapy and participation in codependancy and Al-anon recovery, I have learned to ask for what I need and attempt to have honest relationships.  While this doesn't feel dishonest per se, it doesn't feel honest or like a "full" relationship...which I guess it isn't.  It's having a relationship with a child.  Or a drunk.  So part of this process for me is deciding if this is ok with me.  And I guess this is all about coming Out of the FOG. 

Thanks for listening.

I think this is a common thing people feel as part of the awareness / acceptance process. Once you are aware this is how a person is, and you accept that it probably won't change, that leaves you with a choice. With a clear look at who they are and their limitations, do you want to continue a relationship? Good luck.