It's hard for me to believe that it's been a few months since I've been on the forum! Things are going well - really well. I'm feeling happier because there is so much less stress in my life now that I have very limited contact with my parents and no contact with my siblings. It's made a big difference - using the tools and suggestions in the toolbox and from folks here, has helped a lot. There is an occasional, superficial email exchange with my parents and I'm better able to keep things brief and to not tell them things. Having boundaries about what I tell them or don't tell them is new; I'm realizing I don't have to tell them about the great experience I had with friends, or that I'm learning a new hobby, or if I've been sick or have an injury. The boundaries feel really good. And I'm no longer feeling guilty about having them. Well, most of the guilt is gone, most of the time.
Also - it's freeing to realize I don't have to explain or defend my decision to not have contact with my siblings. When anyone asks how my family is doing, I can say that they are fine or I haven't heard from them recently, and redirect the conversation - ask how their family is dong.
Thanks all for the support and suggestions over the past 8 months! ;D
Yes! Isn't it amazing how adjustment to your own behaviour make such a difference to the quality of your own life. Congratulations!
I'm happy to read your positive post desertpine! I'm glad things are going well for you. Boundaries really are so calming and helpful. I can't believe I told my mother so much about my life and my children's lives. She didn't need to know much of it and it just gave her ammunition to cause pain.
Boundaries for the win! :woohoo:
Good to hear desertpine :) :).
And breathe, as they say ....
Desertpine I am so happy for you. Its such a relief isn't it and so much less stressful.
I was on here heaps but sort of found my feet. I think I just read so many books and was on here every day and then it all sort of sunk in and now its the same for me, I haven't been on the forum in months although every now and again I check in. I seem to have have accepted things with my parents as they are.