6 months NC - checking in

[Therivercontinueson]

I went NC with my FOO last year. It's been about 6 months and the amount of stress and tension that has left me is astounding. I don't have panic attacks anymore, my partner and I get along better, even my skin has cleared up. Theres tons of grief and residual trauma for sure, but the day to day has lifted substantially. Life is no longer one long existential crisis - it just is. I've had to be in contact a few times - one where they called the cops on me for a wellness check (I guess they got a report I was okay), and the other when they threatened to get rid of the posessions they still have of mine about 4 months ago. I told them if they ever wanted to see me again they need to mail them to me (of course I wouldn't actually see them again, but it was good leverage - although I had already written off the things of mine when I went NC, I felt I didn't have much to lose). The mail never came, so I guess that's that. Life is still hard but it's 100x better and NC was totally worth it. This forum was a huge help in reading about everyone's experiences and support - my utmost thanks to you all

[NarcKiddo]

I am really happy to read that NC is working out well for you. It is amazing what these people will try in order to breach your boundaries. I mean, the cops! Surely they have better things to do.

[moglow]

River, I've had several times of no contact with mommie dearest over the years, and I can honestly say now that I emerged from each stronger and more able to care for myself and by extension those around me. I also found that the headaches and stomach upsets calmed considerably. Not having her constant chiseling away with the insults and rages helped me heal and become stronger. Unfortunately for her, that also means my tolerance for abuse whether directed at myself or others, is nil.

I'm in what I term miniscule or "grocery store check out line" contact with md these days - I remain polite and distant whenever I make any contact with her. I couldn't do that when there was regular contact, it quickly got to be too much whenever she became comfortable. Truth be told this works for us both, as she's not that interested and seems incapable of simple kindness and compassion. Birthday and holiday greetings is about all she can handle, and I'm okay with that. Finally.

There's truly a peace we can't explain to those who haven't been in it.

[Blueberry Pancakes]

Theriver - thank you for the update. It is reassuring to hear from others that they are experiencing benefits after going NC. Hoping you continue to reap many more benefits as you continue on the journey. I agree that this forum has indeed been so informative and helpful. 

As Moglow stated it is a peace you cannot explain to others who have not lived it. I also found NC to bring an astounding change I never expected. It really does seem to impact all areas of life. I am happy you are doing well.

[footprint33]

That's great to hear, Therivercontinueson! The way you describe feeling how the tension has been leaving your body makes it clear that healing is happening. It can be a process to metabolize past trauma, but you're doing a great job.

footprint