Munchy

[BeanerJane]

My cousin who is my elderly BDPm's (Munchy) health care proxy called last night to tell me Muncho is claiming she has renal failure.  Now, my cousin isn't aware of just how bizarre this woman is or the lies she'll spin for attention so she's understandably concerned. I had to tell her - don't believe anything that comes out of Munchy's mouth until you've talked to her doctor yourself.  Unless it comes from the doctor's lips to your ear hole it's probably not true.  Munchy and I are NC so my cousin is her go-to.  They live about 300 miles away from each other so my cousin is in the position of receiving information from Munchy and not Munchy's doctors.  Which is EXACTLY the way Munchy wants it.  She's very secretive if you ask too many questions like 'Who's your doctor?' or 'What practice are you going to?' or 'When is your appointment?' or 'What medication are you taking for that?'

There are three things Munchy is super weird about:  Health issues, money, and food.  I won't get into the money and food stuff but let me tell you about her health care crazies.  She loves, and I mean LOVES going to the doctor.  She goes multiple times a week to various specialists where they pat her and praise her for being a good little patient.  She does her aw-shucks-little-old-lady bit like a Broadway star. 

In her prime she would proclaim a health crisis and expect her adoring family to cluster together wringing hands over what horrible, terrible circumstances.  She announced she had rheumatoid arthritis, kidney failure, a massive heart attack, and more.  Except she didn't have any of those things.  Not one.  I specifically recall as a teen that one of her friends at the salon had a daughter with rheumatoid arthritis so Munchy (not to be out done) suddenly had it too.

When I was a child I'm pretty sure she had a touch of the Munchausens (which is why I call her Munchy).  I was constantly at a doctor: an allergy specialist, a psychiatrist, a ENT doctor, a neurologist, a podiatrist, etc.  From that list alone you'd think I had something wrong with my brain, feet, and head.  Nope.  I was a perfectly normal kid.  She liked the attention from medical staff and absolutely lived for the praise of 'what a good mother you are!' 

When my children were young and we weren't NC she'd invite us over to her house to eat. She had a weird attachment to my son and would make him a 'special plate' with his favorite foods.  Hours after we left he'd inevitably throw up.  The first time it happened I didn't think anything of it.  The second time it happened I thought 'he's eating too much rich food at her house and it upsets his stomach'.  The third time it happened I began to suspect she was putting something in his food.  She'd always ask 'how are the children?' the next day.  And I'd be like 'Fine.... Why wouldn't they be?' and she'd say 'Oh, I know they stayed up past their bedtime and that can sometimes cause stomach issues!'  WTF?  I was still deep in the FOG at that time but something inside me told me not to let the kids eat at her house anymore.  If we ate with her it was at a restaurant or I brought the food I had prepared or a pizza that I picked up. 

I have absolutely no proof that she poisoned anyone or that she made me sick as a child but in all fairness I don't remember a lot of my childhood - just bits and pieces. I do know for a fact that she hasn't calmed down in the slightest.  Munchy is still bat shit and doing her illness improv routine.

[SunnyMeadow]

She loves, and I mean LOVES going to the doctor.  She goes multiple times a week to various specialists where they pat her and praise her for being a good little patient.  She does her aw-shucks-little-old-lady bit like a Broadway star.

This made me smile. They are impressive actors in this regard. My uNPDm loves my dad's medical problems and is the star of the show when he is admitted to the hospital.  All the doctors, nurses and techs are SO impressed with her medical knowledge, truly amazed that she can use a computer to print out every medical issue he's ever had and how adept she is in using a cell phone.    

But this part of your post:

The third time it happened I began to suspect she was putting something in his food.  She'd always ask 'how are the children?' the next day.  And I'd be like 'Fine.... Why wouldn't they be?' and she'd say 'Oh, I know they stayed up past their bedtime and that can sometimes cause stomach issues!'  WTF?  I was still deep in the FOG at that time but something inside me told me not to let the kids eat at her house anymore.

You're very wise to see this and know something was up. Good thing you trusted your instincts. Munchy is a good nickname for your BPDm.

[Adrianna]

Wow this is very disturbing and I can only imagine how you must have felt realizing what could have been going on.
I'm so glad your instincts guided you. They are there to protect us.

These people truly can, in extreme cases, be dangerous to themselves and others in some cases. I have no doubt my grandmother, if left at home, probably would have accidentally gone too far and killed herself for attention, not thinking she'd actually do it. When dementia gets mixed in with the pd bad things can happen. I've heard some with borderline traits do actually commit suicide, whether on purpose or by going too far with the attempt for attention.

I think this is the first I've heard about Muchausens on this forum although it's not really surprising. They need attention like air. Sick and upsetting but not shocking when you consider their mental state.

[Boat Babe]

I witnessed a case of Munchausen's by proxy in the Education sector. I was responsible for Special Educational Needs in a school. There was a child who had a lot of behavioural issues and the mother was using my interest and input into the kid as Supply. I have no doubt of that. Poor kid.