Book recommendations

[Z1000]

Hi  👋
My first post here.
I've just finished reading Out of the FOG and I'm looking for a book which centres around healing from experience with a narcissistic mother. Not an emotionally unavailable parent, but one who seeks to be enmeshed and control with guilt. Possibly with a side order of munchausen by proxy.

I've checked out and downloaded a couple of books from this forum's reading list but wanted to ask "what has helped you?" especially with releasing guilt after going no contact.

Thank you 😊

[Starboard Song]

Radical Acceptance, by Tara Brach, was what helped my wife the most.

I highly encourage it.

[SonofThunder]

Hello to you Z1000,

I will second users warm welcome. I grew up with a uNPD father and was married decades to a PD spouse, now stbx.  Imo, no matter who the PD is in relation to the non, the foundational PD trait is self, which is narcissism. Narcissists capitalize on their skills to groom caretakers and become a parasite on the host. 

The most helpful book I have read is Fjelstads 'Stop Caretaking the Borderline and Narcissist'.  Imo that book will teach you a wonderful amount of great things about yourself, and how THAT imo is the key to a narcissist's ability to prey on a nonPD.  If we nonPD's did not have the traits WE have, we would be a terrible host for the parasite; no matter if its a parent, sibling, spouse or whoever the PD is in our lives.

Take away the fuel availability from the automobile, and its useless for the way it was designed.  Take away gunpowder and a gun becomes only an oddly shaped hammer.  Take away caretaking behaviors and the nonPD becomes incompatible, and the PD is forced to go elsewhere for the supply it needs. 

See you around the boards,

SoT

[NarcKiddo]

Welcome, Z1000.

I can't help with anything about releasing guilt after going NC because I am still in contact with my narc mother.

I would suggest that information on emotionally unavailable parents may be relevant to your situation even though it may feel like your mother was overly emotionally available. My understanding of an emotionally available parent is that they are able to regulate their own emotions and help the child learn how to regulate their emotions.
 
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9819780/

The study I have linked above deals with eating disorders but the introduction has a good discussion on the concept of emotional availability.