I can't imagine that every ocpd person is completely focused on keeping trash and hoarding. Do any of them ever obsessively keep the garage clean????
I'm so tired of dealing with the piles of boxes of clothes from our kids as babies (they're in high school or college now), every single graded paper, art project award certificate and receipt ever used, and the piles of recycling waiting to be properly sorted and organized before it eventually (never) goes 50 feet out to the street.
Do any of these ocpds ever go the opposite and say "my obsession is keeping the garage easy to walk through and not appearing to be a demilitarized zone when company comes over?
Just curious
Yes, my ex-husband's dad (my former father-in-law). When he could still move around on his own without the assistance of a wheelchair, he would meticulously organize hardware in the garage: tools, screws, nuts, bolts, etc. I think he probably still does this inside the house, with papers, silverware, dishes, and so on. My ex lives there, because he's his parents' caregiver, and I know the differences in habits has caused a lot of friction. My ex is a messy hoarder.
My hubby is obsessed with cleaning, order and things being in the right place. It is annoying and he will often pick fights or demean if something isnt perfect. It is possible to hoard and be a neat freak, he is one.
My DH is VERY neat. I had to laugh out loud when you asked about keeping the garage clean. He has a Roomba in the garage. And it's clean enough out there to work just fine.
We also have 2 Roombas in the house, plus several other vacuums that each have a specific function. He runs them all and has no expectation that I'll be using any of these various vacuums. More power to him imo.
Mine is a combo. Will obsessively organize things (nails, screws into little cups or jars...files/papers/boxes), but won't throw anything out and leaves messes around... Also he will take forever to organize and reorganize, then will re do it again a year later...so he always has a project to focus on and nothing is ever really ' done'. Plus I never know where anything is, but he gets annoyed when I can't find stuff...
I thought of something else that my OCPD ex-FIL used to do (and maybe still does; I don't know). He had a system for sorting the garbage and recycling, which I generally think is fine. But he refused to deviate from the system when it was no longer fine (to me, one symptom of a true OCPD). My former mother-in-law has Alzheimer's disease, and at one stage of her disease, she would take things out of the garbage and recycling, including things that could have hurt her or spread germs, like empty soda cans, lids from empty cans, and dirty tissues. These things were easily accessible to her because ex-FIL's garbage and recycling sorting system consisted of having a paper bag under the table and a plastic bag hanging from a chair. He did NOT want to change this. Ugh.
Mine was/is messy. He had stuff strewn all over the house. Refused to pick anything up, let alone get rid of it (unless it was something of mine). Heaven help me if I should so much as move something or put it away. He would be cranky and complain for days. Ask him to pick up - for get it. He wanted to keep everything because it might come in useful someday or it was sentimental to him. When we moved in together, he wanted to "discuss" where we put things. "Discussion" meant that we had to debate where to put the extra toilet paper, for example, based on the merits of the storage location. Of course, the merits were defined by him so that he was always right. Opting out of the "discussion" only annoyed him. And, in the end, it didn't really matter since he never put anything away except groceries. The only exception to his messiness was foodstuffs - all items had to be stored according to expiration date. We could never see the kitchen table to eat off of. Now that we are separated, I have a small table that does NOT double as a messy storage shelf - we can actually see the table and eat off it. Recently, my children had strewn their toys all over the flat. When we had a pick up morning - they were actually excited to do it. I think (hope) they like living somewhere more or less orderly than living in a messy tornado hit house.
I wouldn't classify stbxuPDh as OCPD, but he had some traits similar to those mentioned above. He was a slob. He would leave piles scattered around the house and scream at me If I so much as moved one to vacuum under. Then he would walk around the house and chastise my housekeeping ability because the house was "a dump" with cr@p everywhere. :blink: He would rage that I was a failure and unable to keep the house company ready (I was a SAHM). After all, what did I *do* all day?!?!?! Nevermind the two toddlers running around underfoot...
He wouldn't throw anything away. If I accidentally ordered an extra whatever, instead of me returning it, he insisted I need to keep it "just in case." Of course, any of my things were fair game - if it was in his way, it got tossed. That's what I got for leaving my stuff everywhere. :flat:
He was a slob, but wanted everything neat and tidy. The two don't mix.
:yeahthat:
"He was a slob, but wanted everything neat and tidy"
It's this kind of dichotomous thinking that makes me nuts...
Thanks everyone!
My uOCPDw can live in disorder of piles that borders on unsafe but has a near photographic memory of every item in every pile in every place. I had subconsciously learned when we moved to the house we built that if something starts offf in a place (a stack of pictures) then it stays that way forever so I tried like mad to not let the piles start. 12 years later and we have things in the exact places they started never to move. I've spoken about the interrogations on this forum which resukt when a pile or an item is diatribes.
For my spouse there is no overwhelming desire to keep things neat. Her goal is to make sure they stay the same and in control.
I appreciate the shared thoughts.
jsinjin - you summed it up perfectly. Their goal is to keep things the same, and to stay in control.
dichotomous thinking - so very true. The piles, the mess, but yelled at when it's not clean but I can't throw anything away. Always a mess so we can't have company. Wow, sounds like you lived my life! :stars: :stars: :stars:
OH!! My OCPDh is obsessed with everyone else being neat. He will have piles of stuff everywhere...but take a roll of tape from his pile on the desk and replace it in a way that differs from how he had it? All hell will break loose. He will also search my vehicle for trash whenever he gets into it...but his car? Bottles, sunflower seed shells, receipts, etc., all over the place. It is maddening and the funny thing is that he often creates more messes than anyone else in the house. I often think it's intentional so that I have more work to do. >:(