OCPD always smarter than everyone else

[11JB68]

Uocpdh always believes he is the smartest. And has to tell everyone. I know that in part this must stem from actually poor self esteem. It is often annoying, but also sort of pathetic.
Also I feel like it holds him back. I mean, if you're smarter than everyone and have nothing to learn from anyone how do you grow? Also I sometimes feel like asking him, if you're so much smarter than all of these people then why haven't you figured out a way to make a good living?
He was on a zoom meeting with 4 guys last week. Two own a lucrative business, one went to MIT, yet uocpdh somehow was the smartest one on the call.

[notrightinthehead]

It sounds like you disagree with this self image of your husband and are a bit irritated by it.

[Jsinjin]

I see this all the time with my uOCPDw and her interactions with us.   She doesn't show this trait with people she doesn't know but with those who are close she believes no one, trusts no one and will lot trust a fact even if you are reading it directly from a source.   She will insist on pulling up the fact, or the map or the GPS on her own computer and checking the info herself.   She has said, (paraphrased) "I just can't trust you to not get it wrong" and so she has to review it herself.   It's bad enough that on a girls boy scout troop hike where the kids were supposed to be the route finders and navigators with no adult interference she had to bail out because she couldn't stand not having the map and decision making.

I find the smartest person in the room problem for my spouse is typically related to control and inability to trust others.

[losingmyself]

I think my H has to do it because he actually is the least smart person in the room.
So I think it's low self esteem. No one else has to tell everyone how smart they are, or how stupid everyone else is......
And, he's not stupid, he is very skilled at very many things, and I tell him that often.  He's just not 'book smart' but he has to pretend like he is.

[practical]

In F it took the form that his approach was the only correct approach. "Being the smartest" is also something I have seen in NPDs.

It can be very irritating, especially when it comes with lecturing and putting other people down.

[SparkStillLit]

Updh does this also, his way is the only way, and the lecturing and haranguing.

[Dovetail]

I always get reminded of Penelope from SNL when I listen to casual conversations with uPD

[Call Me Cordelia]

I was a precocious child (very early reader, etc.) and I was TRAINED to be that way. I mean directly coached to lord my smarts over the other kids. Any interpersonal problems that it caused (I was rather unpopular in first grade, imagine that!) were chalked up to them being jealous and I should get used to other kids hating me. Everybody hates people who are better than they are.

I think it's partly splitting... you are either the best or the worst. Being not the best makes you the worst. That's inconceivable, so they must be the best. And everyone must hold up that image lest it break. All data are interpreted in the light of the pre-determined narrative. So the kids in first grade didn't like me telling them "Wrong!" all the time because they were ashamed that I knew so much more than they did, not because it was rude and people don't like being talked down to. 

[11JB68]

Practical and spark, yes, his way it the highway... Lecturing....
Dovetail, I'm not familiar with Penelope...