Dad is furious with me

[Spirit in the sky]

My mother phoned me this morning to tell me my father had fallen out of bed after drinking too much last night. He was yelling at her to lift him up, thankfully she didn't. So I told her to make him comfortable and phone an ambulance.

He was furious that I didn't go and lift him up and was yelling down the phone that he was paralysed. When the paramedics arrived suddenly they was nothing wrong with him, they helped him up checked him over. They wanted to take him to hospital for observation but he refused. They did say he was physically fit and the lung cancer wasn't affecting his breathing at all. By the end he was laughing and joking with the paramedics and they said his heart, lungs, blood pressure, blood sugar, lung capacity was all good.

This afternoon the cancer support nurse came to see him and his mood completely changed, he told her he's dying and hasn't long to go. (Did I mention he was out drinking with his friends last night. ) She seemed very surprised because she read the paramedic report. He told her there was no need for an ambulance but she insisted we did the right in case he had seriously hurt himself or blacked out.

He's so angry the paramedics couldn't find anything wrong with him, but at the same time refused to go to the hospital. Of course it all my fault and I should have left my 86 year old mother lift him up.

[NumbLotus]

"I'm paralyzed... don't call an ambulance."

Lol

[Psuedonym]

NumbLotus, hahaa. I snorted at the efficiency of that observation.

Spirit in the sky,

Ah I have experienced almost exactly this situation. uBPD/N m (aka Negatron) went on a Xanax binge that had her collapsing on the floor and unable to get up. My dad, who had terminal leukemia at the time, was sleeping on the floor next to her in case she fell (a fact that still fills me with rage - I was 3000 miles away at the time). 3 calls to the fire department later, she finally landed herself in the hospital.

When she got out, I experienced the 'fallen and can't get up' situation myself. Here's the truth a) there's no way your mother could have lifted him off the floor, b) its doubtful that you could have. Have you ever tried to deadlift 100+ pounds off the floor? It ain't easy. There's a reason that paramedics are trained in this...also, your dad, like Negatron, seems to be able to turn the 'dying' on and off instantly.

It's all 

[Spirit in the sky]

My dad fell again this morning, I phoned the district nurse and she said he needs to go to hospital. Now I'm waiting on the doctor phoning to arrange another ambulance. So annoying that my dad refused to go to hospital yesterday and now we are going through the whole process again.

I'm trying to remain calm because the nurse explained it could be a symptom of end stage cancer. But why didn't he go to the hospital yesterday. I've had to take the day off work because I really need to stay at home and keep my stress levels as low as possible. I'm really hoping they keep him in somewhere and I will be speaking to social services to make arrangements.

[Spirit in the sky]

Update.

I waited all day for the doctor to phone me, instead he went and visited my dad and of course I wasn't there. Mother was useless at filling me in on the details, she only remembers what she chooses. One minute she Mother Theresa next minute she's in complete denial mode again.

Tried speaking to my dad, turns out he didn't bother telling the doctor all the symptoms he just wanted more medication.  Palliative care nurse was there yesterday they both said they were fine no helped needed. I spoke to the district nurse again she said they are both responsible adults and can make informed choices themselves. RESPONSIBLE ADULTS !!

Time to take a step back again and leave them to it.