the narc duo

[eternallystuck]

lol sorry this is going to be a rant post but I cannot deal with more than 15minutes of my mother or my grandma at this point....MY GOODNESS, they are UNBEARABLE!! And I think its a really healthy sign I feel this way after finishing my last official round of (free) therapy. I'm no longer in the dark about their patterns and I just don't want to be around them, I know what it does to me. I think I'm finally 'accepting' them for who they are, even while I don't agree with it.

My gma has been leaving at least 7 voicemails a week atm, using various excuses to to try and see me like 'i've made a dinner do you want it' in her best innocent tone because shes being ignored by everyone. She is getting obsessive cos I won't tell her where I live (she lives within driving distance of me which won't be a problem when I go back to the city). Everytime I see her she is launching into a histrionic episode, moaning moaning moaning, being whimsical even tho shes never worked her entire life, interrupting me. Tbh she has had WAY more of time than most grandparents, shes been way too involved in my life because of my abusive mother. She will do obviously stupid things like doing a u-turn on a busy road then act flustered playing victim and start working up into an episode, when she could of just turned down a side street like I told her. I'm so sick of it. She's not a nice person, she will do anything to get you worked up/recieve attention and I don't feel obliged to spend time with her even tho she is getting older. She's been like this my whole life, and I'm exhausted with her being mentally stuck at the age of 8years old.

Then onto my mother, my recent runs in with her have consisted of her moaning about her loser partner she chose and will never leave, moaning about how shes constantly ill (which is clearly a sign she needs to stop being a highly strung raging narc), moaning about her back, moaning about how shes tired, interrupting me, talking over me, not asking anything about my life and then moaning again. I told her about a few recent dates I went on (why?) and she just seemed jealous and quickly changed the convo as usual (I really think she resents the fact I'm smarter than her in that dept & won't 'settle'). She and her partner are just miserable to be around, you instantly feel your energy sink. I can't get away quick enough!!

Right now I am in a healthier place and just focusing on getting my life back on track, in my spare time I've been focusing on decorating my flat, reading and cooking..and I've got back in the gym again. I do need to sort my social life out, but all in good time. Once I have got my remaining uni work out the way I can move back to the city and get a proper dating/social life again. But yeah phew guys I have started feeling myself again these last few months with the help of therapy so I really can't stand exposing myself to the narcs too long. But at least I am somewhat accepting that is who they are and its my responsibility to limit contact

[SunnyMeadow]

Reading that you're in a healthier place and getting your life back on track makes me happy! Good for you 

Isn't it a good feeling to finally know what you're dealing with?  Yes, it's definitely our responsibility to limit contact, thanks for that very important message. I hope we can all break free of the narcs who don't care about anyone but themselves.

I can feel the strength in your post. 

[Adrianna]

Sounds like you are making progress.

Honestly once we learn about the disorder, we see their antics and we are at first angry to think we have been emotionally abused for YEARS  and then we're just fed up and want to avoid them as much as possible. Like ok, I know what you're doing, and I want no part of this. You end up limiting Contact out of necessity for your own well-being once you realize that you do matter and always did, no matter what you were trained to believe.