“Raising Resilient Children with a Borderline or Narcissistic Parent”

[Stillirise]

I recently purchased "Raising Resilient Children with a Boderline or Narcissistic Parent," by Margalis Fjelstad, and Jean McBride.  This book caught my attention, because Fjelstad is also the author of "Stop Caretaking the Borderline or Narcisissist...," an excellent book that is often recommended on this site. 

I'm not quite finished reading, but so far, I've found some great insights.  The first half of the book is essentially about getting yourself in the right mindset for raising a child, with a PD co-parent, whether you are together or apart.  The second half is geared toward how to help and support your children, when the other parent is a borderline or narcissist.

I would recommend this book for anyone faced with raising children with a PD parent, whether you're raising them together in the same home, or not.   

[SparkStillLit]

HEAVEN I wish I had all this earlier. One seriously damaged child launched. One about to be. I don't know the score on this one.
I myself am just coming Out of the FOG.

[Stillirise]

Spark,
You might still find it useful.  There are tips for helping older children learn to cope with the PD parent.  There are also things can help you continue to nurture and support them, into adulthood.  The sections on self-compassion vs self-esteem were especially helpful for me.

[Lauren17]

Thank you for posting about this. I've put it on my reading list.
I'm currently struggling with how to beat deflect H's behaviors and their impacts on DD.
And Marge F. is great.

[Boat Babe]

Thank you. I am ordering this today.

[CagedBirdSinging]

Hello, could any one tell me is this book worth reading for divorced parents?
From the blurb I wasn't sure if it was more geared towards people who are choosing to stay married to narcissists?!
I have recently left pdH, and I am looking for a good book about building resilience skills in my children, looking ahead to when they are older and will have to spend time alone with their dad.
Would this book be a good buy in my situation? Or could anyone recommend anything else?

Thanks!

[Stillirise]

I would say it is useful in either situation, whether in the same home or divorced.  There is a lot of focus on building resilience, and helping the children navigate their own experiences. There is also a short section specifically for parenting after divorce. It focuses mostly on parallel parenting. 

Most of what was in the book, I have seen here in one form or another, but I have also referred to it as a reference more than once, for reinforcement of my parenting goals.

[sevenyears]

I'm halfway through this book. From the first half, just having someone describe the family chaos created by the PD is liberating. I felt heard, really heard, for the first time. I hope that the second half is just as useful and that it will be practical too.