I filed today.

[GravityOfBeauty]

It needed to be done. I gave her multiple chances to settle this uncontested but just as my T predicted, she simply took that "fishing line" and ran with it...down the street, around some trees, and out of the neighborhood... delay tactic after delay tactic.

It felt good to take steps to protect myself by transferring the process into authoritative hands. I wish I had done it sooner. I simply wasn't ready, though... I am now. It's remarkable how far I've come. Only a matter of months ago I couldn't fathom the thought of stepping into the clerk building. Yet, here I am – I'm healing. I feel a glimmer of freedom from the chains that have bound me for so long.

... Not sure what to expect from her once the papers are served by the sheriff...I'm hoping she adjusts in typical PD fashion but it could go either way. Court date isn't until February. Since we have no kids, home, nor major joint assets there's really not much worth her fighting for and any legal counsel would surely advise her that she can't fight for custody of me... 

[escapingman]

Well done! I was the same, I needed help from lawyers to shield from her denial.

Good luck, fireworks might erupt!

[Starboard Song]

Congratulations!

Good strength to you. Remember that this is a long game. You'll be in a far better place two years from now than you are today. Hopefully, far sooner. But this isn't a light switch, and you need to prepare for the hard work.

Lawyer up and listen to your attorney.

[square]

Well done.

[SonofThunder]

Well done GravityOfBeauty!   

My hope is that all goes smooth in your divorce.  My PD experiences suggest to you, to expect the unexpected.  The bumps and turns along my path of time are tolerated better when I accept they are an expected part of my experience. 

I want to encourage you to start moving right along with your own life, which may assist you during the period of time in the divorce process, both in your self encouragement and motivation, but also to not provide the PD a notion of cautionary control over you during the divorce period.   

Again, congratulations!

SoT

[JustKeepTrying]

Well done and what a remarkable act of courage and strength

[PlantFlowersNotWeeds]

Congratulations!  Well done!

[WhiteWolf]

Congrats!! Expect the unexpected and remember, it's a hurry up and wait situation. Prepare for her to become person of the year. And, keep posting here.

[Lauren17]

Well done!  Take a moment and congratulate yourself on taking a huge, scary step to improve your life.
One thing I wished I'd known to expect was this. During the divorce, you will see all the aspects of your PD amplified and condensed into a shorter amount of time.  It's almost a replay of your relationship. 
Best wishes for you.

[GravityOfBeauty]

Wow, thank you everyone for the kind words of encouragement. It feels like a massive milestone.

I've been working with my attorney through the process thus far; feeling as prepared as one can be when dealing with a PD.

I'm not good at being patient. An excellent reminder that this is a 'hurry up an wait' process. What else should I expect?

[SonofThunder]

Wow, thank you everyone for the kind words of encouragement. It feels like a massive milestone.

I've been working with my attorney through the process thus far; feeling as prepared as one can be when dealing with a PD.

I'm not good at being patient. An excellent reminder that this is a 'hurry up an wait' process. What else should I expect?

What else?....Off the cuff:

-Imo, PD's are predictable in their traits. 

-The PD's I know, never change. 

-I experienced PD behavior before my separation, therefore I expect similar behavior from my PD through the divorce and after the divorce as well. 

-In the divorce, my PD's traits and desires are now backed by a carefully chosen, expensive attorney who is assisting my PD (within legal frameworks) to covertly maneuver herself, both for my PD's own gain, but also for my PD to covertly 🔺persecute me through the divorce process.

-Imo, an attorney and a therapist are similar in ways;  they both can only work with what they are provided.  They both will be provided a 🔺victim.   They both will also be manipulated by the PD. 

-Heightened reactions by me, are fuel for my PD.  I will therefore be the calmest person in the mix. 

-My PD cannot control me getting on with my life, during the divorce process. 

-I expect to move backwards and sideways while I also move forward, as my PD uses the attorney to delay and add confusion, all of which cost me money. 

-I expect the two attorneys will monetarily benefit from the backwards and sideways, therefore its up to me to make sure the process moves forward.  I will say "yes" to what i'm able, and only say "no" when I must. 

-I will be very observant.  I will also listen, look and read for, what is NOT stated. 

-I will be positive.  It is power for me. 

SoT

[losingmyself]

Congratulations to you on this big step!

[Kat54]

Congratulations! It's very hard but it will be well worth it. Stay strong

[Starboard Song]

Depending on your situation, people divorcing a PD should expect:

• A demand for all the money and assets that have ever existed on the planet
• The PD may take and conceal valuable personal property
• A demand for exactly what they want as to child custody, with no softness at all
• Zero give, whenever you waver at all from strict adherence to the agreement
• Constant testing of the agreement from their side
• A smear campaign

Be nice, but play hard.

[escapingman]

Depending on your situation, people divorcing a PD should expect:

• A demand for all the money and assets that have ever existed on the planet
• The PD may take and conceal valuable personal property
• A demand for exactly what they want as to child custody, with no softness at all
• Zero give, whenever you waver at all from strict adherence to the agreement
• Constant testing of the agreement from their side
• A smear campaign

Be nice, but play hard.

Did you just write down exactly what my STBX is doing in my divorce? Although she hasn't managed to get hold of any valuable personal asset YET as she is barred from the house with a court order (she is however trying to get this lifter for her me to vacate the house and giver her a full day to take what she wants).

To gravity, I absolutely recommend what Starboard is saying, be nice and play hard. Stick to the truth, at all times, the truth will win in the end, as long as you stay CALM.

[Starboard Song]

Did you just write down exactly what my STBX is doing in my divorce?

Yes sir. I do believe I did.

You just don't know about the jewelry.