Encouragement

[StartingHealing]

Hello y'all.

This is going to be a hodgepodge of a post. 

More interesting things, found out that stbx has a warrant out for her arrest.  It seems that she failed to appear at a hearing concerning her anger management classes that she was mandated to do instead of going to jail.  In the state where I reside in the USA, warrants don't expire.  They remain until the courts remove them.

I laugh about that.  The irony in the situation I guess.  Such a strong, independent person who is also the largest victim ever, at least in her mind.  Can handle and manage yada, yada, yada.  But blows off a hearing? 

Noticed that I'm actually smiling at people's holiday decorations that they have put up outside.  That would never happen had the stbx was around.   

Realizing just how much good vibes that she would suck out of everything.  Literally everything.  Now, (working on 6 months NC) smiling because of the good vibes I get from the decorations.  Really enjoying the time when I play with my doggo.  And that's another thing!  My doggo, it's like he's opened up and is actually being a dog!  Barking outside, playing tag with me.

Many reasons for it but I think the biggest one is that there isn't the ever looming threat of mental, verbal, emotional abuse because I'm not a mind reader and I'm not fulfilling the role that she created for me in her own head.

It's amazing how enjoyable my daily experience actually is.  Sure, there is the typical human stuff of being a bit ticked when someone cuts me off in traffic, but that is so short in duration compared to the rest of my day.  When I compare now to the last point in time when I was around her?  I'll take now every time.

It's taken ye olde nervous system some time to adjust but it's finally down regulated to a better base line.   Slower heart rate, lower blood pressure, more interest in doing new things, new experiences, where before? 

I get it I do.  it's TOUGH to go through getting into a different space / place than the PD's.  No harm in going slow.  Remember that a journey of a 1000 miles starts with 1 step. 

We need to give ourselves more credit.  With the events that we have all gone through and we are getting better, healing, moving on and finding good vibes in our daily life?  That is something admirable. 

Wishing all here, all the best.

[Poison Ivy]

 

[Gwendolyn]

Thank-you for sharing your experiences and hope.  Keep up the good progress and keep building your new and happier life.  Your mention of doggy really hit home for me.

My animals are never relaxed around uPDh and that's very obvious. 

Take care,
Gwendolyn

[SonofThunder]

StartingHealing,

Thanks for the encouragement to us comrades at Out of the FOG.  Im joyed to read about additional positive steps in your own journey!  All the best and wishing you a wonderful and continued decorative season.

SoT

[Boat Babe]

That's great news, really good to hear.  Crack on living your best life 😁