Lost a partner, gained an enemy

Beachstone · December 22, 2023, 02:43:24 PM

As it looks like a separation is imminent, I think my posts belong here now.
As my partner is amping up the nastiness and accusing me of being the abusive one, it looks like I'm in for a very rough ride. Thankfully I have wonderful support from family, friends, plus health and legal professionals. My aim is to protect our son, and I'm looking forward to finally being able to provide him with a safe, secure, loving and stable home soon.

But right now I'm still processing the heartbreak of not only losing a partner that I trusted, loved and supported, but gaining an enemy who is doing everything they can to damage and control me.

Boat Babe · December 22, 2023, 06:41:24 PM

Hi Beachstone. First of all you have done a courageous and loving act - separating yourself and your child from abuse - that is mighty! May I suggest that you focus on safety for yourself and your child first, and securing your rightful assets secondly. Try to have a laser focus on this. Once you are divorced and the finances are settled and parrallel parenting is in place then you can grieve your loss.

I am very glad that you have a good support network and we are also here for you in the coming months. I hope you can still enjoy the Christmas holidays.

SeaBreeze · December 22, 2023, 08:35:47 PM

Beachstone,

As the mask drops, the gloves come off, and you will see the true PD in full force. Please hang in there and stay strong for yourself and your child.

Beachstone · December 22, 2023, 09:24:23 PM

Thank you everyone. After I wrote this, my son and I arrived home this morning after taking a break for 3 days to give us all some space.
My partner had moved out while we were away. I had no idea he would do this. We don't know where he is. He has left his house and car keys. He later messaged to say he has left and is somewhere "safe" (in recent days he started to accuse me of being the abusive one, which I was expecting).

Thank you user and SeaBreeze, and yes, I'm starting to see a completely different side to him.

Very good advice Boat Babe, thankfully I've kept good records and ready to work with my lawyer in the New Year. I can be quite calm and practical and can keep emotions in check (mostly!). I'm expecting my ex to get nasty and I've read "Splitting" to help prepare me. I've also documented the abuse I've experienced, plus his drug and alcohol problems, and have given copies to my mum etc in case. I just purchased a doorbell camera.

Thank goodness I've found this community.