I'm getting hoovered by a shop vac

[Jsinjin]

My family is going to the mountains along with a boy scout troop for their high adventure five day hike next week.   My son and youngest daughter are the scouts.   My uOCPDw is one of the leaders in the girls troop.   I had intended to go until I realized my spouse was going.   I don't want to go    at all.   I get only this vacation this summer and I hoped to really work on my little house to move into.    I told my spouse I don't want to go.   At all    I said I don't like to be around her, that we fight, that I feel bad and that five days in a trail would not be good for any parts of how I feel.    But there is this whole suckfest of pulling me in for the kids, for my health, for being away from my phone where work can't get to me.   I love the mountains a lot, just not with her     I don't want to fight, walk on eggshells and carry her load when she doesn't feel that the route or way or north or the map or whatever are not what she is comfortable with.

I know it should be as easy as just say no and that's it but it's not!!

[bloomie]

Jsinjin - Seems like you are very clear about what is best for everyone involved. Stay the course and do what allows you to be your best self in the bigger picture of your life and responsibilities. You've got this! 💪🏼

[Jsinjin]

I got sucked in    I completely stood my ground and my son and wife kept asking and pleading and begging    they took hours to get packed and my wife was bawling about the trip and I finally gave in.    I'm just a person to help out.   I have no function but to share the driving and lend a hand if things go bad.   I lose my only week.   I can't believe this.

[Whatthehey]

Good luck with the trip.  I am sending you support from afar.  I pray it goes well for all of you.

[Poison Ivy]

I'm sorry that you felt unable to to say "no." Do you know what causes you to feel uncomfortable about drawing and sticking to the boundary of saying "no"?

[Whiteheron]

jsinjin - I fell 'backwards' like this at least three times before I was able to stand my ground. It's ok, it's all part of the process. Do it for the kids (I repeat the mantra 'best interest of the kids' over and over in my head), and put your time and focus onto them. MC/greyrock for her. Hang in there. It will be ok.

[Rose1]

Can you have something come up and beg off? It's really her responsibility to make the trip within her finances and abilities.

If I had done that with bpdexh he would have just smirked at me and told me that's what happens when you're the sort of person you are (not suggesting this). It's time she found her big girl panties.  It delays the inevitable.