Hi. So glad to know that this forum is here. I was referred by social worker at the cancer center where my husband is receiving treatment. My husband suffers from BPD and the terminal diagnosis just makes everything exponentially more difficult. He denies that he is dying, and so I can't talk to him about it . . . (so what is new? -- can't talk about anything much except to agree with him.) It is a relief to read the descriptions of common behaviors and what to do and not do. Still absorbing that. So hello, and I am glad to be here.
:stars:
Hi and welcome KKM. Im so sorry for the traumatic event and circumstances that bring you here. Im glad you were referred to the forum. I hope you find the compassionate support you need and deserve. There is a wealth of information along with wisdom that comes from so many experiences.
Welcome! :hug: I'm glad that you are here.
Hi KKM
Welcome.
My uPD and alcoholic husband has end stage heart failure. He denies it too. I have also experienced that it makes things so much harder.
My dad was the same, he lied and denied everything to all family and friends. Again made it all so much harder. He demanded that i lie for him too. Awful position to be in.
Thank you for your response. It does make things SO MUCH harder. I can't plan or prepare. We can't talk about it. . . . It is very tiring.
Quote from: KKM on September 28, 2019, 06:55:51 PM
Thank you for your response. It does make things SO MUCH harder. I can't plan or prepare. We can't talk about it. . . . It is very tiring.
I find it very tiring too.
My uPD husband has lied to the medical teams right from the start too, this also causes great problems.
Sending kindness and understanding to you.
Welcome. You are not alone.
Your husband maybe feeling scared, terrified, frightened and threatened. By him not talking about it then it doesn't exist.
FEAR can stand for False Evidence Appearing Real. He is denying himself and you the help and support he really needs.
Guitarman X
It is very hard to take care of ourselves when we are with someone with a PD. They eclipse everyone else's needs and it can be exhausting to spend so much energy telling them what we wish they would hear.
If he doesn't hear you, others do. Your social worker can probably see how you are feeling. How are you feeling lately? How are you doing with your own need for rest and breaks?
This site can be really helpful as you process your experiences. Welcome.
Trees