"Stop making so much noise. I'm dying."

[Hazel Eyes]

Those were my Cluster B nightmare father's last words, according to my younger half-sister. He had passed away at home at the end of August 2021 from COVID19 complications. My father said these words while they were waiting on emergency services to arrive. His second wife was freaking out over what was happening, and this was his response. I heard she was so distraught that my younger half-siblings had to take over. No, I love yous or anything remotely resembling regrets or sadness. No, come to Jesus moment. He was who he was up until the very end.

I went to NC with him for the last time in 2010. He discarded me like I never existed. That made me realize I did the right thing after years of questioning myself. I am sorry his second family got stuck with his final arrangements. He treated them no better than he did us. There was no funeral or memorial. He was cremated, and that was that. None of us miss him at all.

[SunnyMeadow]

No, I love yous or anything remotely resembling regrets or sadness. No, come to Jesus moment. He was who he was up until the very end.
None of us miss him at all.

As I've been reading about NPD, I've seen many articles mentioning that people don't change even on their deathbeds. When I was younger, I used to think everyone did and there was always a touching moment before death. It would make the final goodbye so much easier if they did change. What a thing for your dad to say. 

They just don't see that when they act terribly and selfishly towards others, this is what happens. No service, no luncheon and no one misses them.

[moglow]

I'm sorry it had to be that way for you. It's sad on so many levels, and stunning that he never reached out. I would thing there's a sad comfort in that, a final confirmation as it were that you did the only and best thing you could do for yourself. But consider this when you can - it wasn't any better with his second family. For all the blame you may have dumped on yourself, he was who he was, lacking some essential something when it came to others.

Years ago a member here talked about her mother "leaving this world with her middle finger firmly in the air" and that image has stuck with me.

Wishing you peace, Hazel Eyes.

[Sneezy]

My stepfather did not have a PD (as far as I know), but he was a grumpy, complaining old man right up until the end.  The morning he died, he asked my mom to get him a piece of coffee cake.  His last word's were "it's dry."  Then he died, complaining with his very last breath.  It's who he was.

[Empie2204]

When my mil was dying (brain tumor),  the entire family circled in visits to the hospital. She died outside the official hospital visit hours, so no one was there to hear her last words. But even before that - she was aware she was dying - there was not a crumble of gentleness and genuine love.
It was obvious she was suffering but she did not soften a bit. Although she created a dysregulated family, her grownup children still showed their respect. Especially my sil, she starved for mother´s love she never had.
What did she get instead?  Of all of the people who stood around my mil´s bed, she felt that her daughter was blocking her view! So, my mil uttered one cold, harsh "Move away!"

I saw the pain on my SIL´S face.
For me, that was proof that a mean person dies mean. There are no fairy tales when a person dies and everybody forgives and loves everybody.

Edit: Her health and pain were not an excuse because she was sweet and kind to her golden child, my h.

[Hazel Eyes]

For me, that was proof that a mean person dies mean. There are no fairy tales when a person dies and everybody forgives and loves everybody.

I agree. After what happened with my father. I am so about how she treated your SIL.